It's Something Beautiful, yet so Dysfunctional
by bellaxxb
Summary: Robyn Snape has never felt or received loved, not from her adopted father or anyone who surounded her. So when she starts to develop feelings for a boy she use to despise, many secrets are revealled.
1. Breathe for Love Tomorrow

I climb, I slip, I fall**  
**Reaching for your hands**  
**But I lay here all alone**  
**Sweating all your blood**  
**  
"Draco, is everything okay? You look like something is bothering you" Pansy Parkinson demanded, I lifted my head to look across from the table. Her pug-liked face looked -headed boy beside me seemed to stiffen at the sound of the girls voice.

I passed my fingers through my curly hair and sighed silently, it was about the thousand time Pansy had asked Draco that very question and he had never answered her. You'd think she would get the message after at least the third time, but this was Pansy we were talking about. If something was wrong with her Draco, she would not stop untill she fought out what it was. He was acting strange eversince he had visited Borgin and Burkes, I had questioned him about it, but when he would just avoid answering me, I let it go.

The train to Hogwarts halted to a stop, and the students started crowding the exit. I grabbed my luggage and turned the Pansy and Blaise who were leaving.

"Draco?" Pansy stared at the motionless Draco.

"You guys go along, I'll be out in a minute" was his reply, both Blaise and Pansy nodded and left.

"Robyn, you can leave" he told me, but I simply leaned on the wall, waiting patiently, nudging my head towards the bag that was left on the rack above. Draco glanced my way before closing all the curtains.

"That's obviouly why you've been acting odd this whole time" I had sense the presence before, but decided to ignore it until Draco said something.

"Potter, didn't your parents ever tell you eavesdropping is impolite" Draco pulled out his wand, pointing at the bag and next thing I knew, Harry Potter was laying on the floor grunting.  
"Draco, please don't started something the first day of school"

But before I could even convince him, Harry Potter's face was covered with blood and a crooked nose was placed in the middle of his face. He was immobilised by a spell Draco used. I scratched the back of my neck, raising an eyebrow in surprise. He brushed passed me and exited, leaving myself and a injured Gryffindor.

"Uhm?" I pulled out my own wand and aimed it at Potter. "Brackium Emendo" the spell fixed his nose and I decided to leaving, passing that queer Luna Lovegood. After walking a couple of seconds, I could hear people talking. Professeur Flitwick waiting impatiently after spotting me,

"Miss Snape, you're late. Now, name please" he ordered,

"Why would I tell you my name , when you just used it?" I asked. Of course everyone in this school knew me, I am not related to Severus Snape, but he is my adopted father.

"Arg, well. Off with you." he told me as he turned to the now woken Harry and Luna. I put down my luggage for whoever to look through it. That's when I noticed Draco arguing with that whoever and my father arriving.

"I will take care of Mister Malfoy and Miss Robyn's things" he spoke in his usually cold tone. The man nodded and moved on to the next luggage.

"Hello father" I greeted with a curt nod and grabbed my own things and walked behind them.


	2. I'm Using You, My Little Decoy

Close your eyes and make belief

That this is where you wanna be

Forgetting all the memories

Try to forget love

'Cause love has forgotten me

A fresh scar outlined my forearm, right beside that black, disgusting mark. I traced the wound with my index figure lightly; it still stung a little bit.

_  
"That will teach you to disobey the Dark Lord"_

The voice in my head sent chills down my spine. I pulled on my robe and tied my hair in a ponytail. It was about time for the entrance ceremony, as much as I didn't want to go; I proceeded towards the Great Hall. I passed by many students, they were all smiling and seemed in high spirit, ecstatic to be reunited with their friends. I walked to the Slytherin table and sat between Draco and Blaise.

"What took you so long, Robyn?" Blaise nudge me with his elbow and raised his eyebrow in a teasing matter.

"What do you mean?" I questioned indifferently, grabbing an orange from the basket in front of me.

"Well, Draco just got here too" he winked, pulling a piece of orange I just peeled out of my hand and shoving it in his mouth. I glance in Draco's direction; he sat rigidly beside me. "I knew you guys would hook up" Blaise whispered in my ear smugly. I shoved his head away from me, smearing pieces of orange in his face.

"May I please have your attention?" I heard Professor Dumbledore start, "I would like to welcome you all to this new year at Hogwarts. I would also like to welcome our new Potion Master, Mister Horace Slughorn"

An old man stood up, he was a bit chubby and sported a brown suit. Everyone clapped and he sat down.

"Now, since Professor Slughorn will be taking over Potions, Professor Snape will be teaching Defence against the Dark arts."

I looked at my father; he just sat there with a blank expression.

After Dumbledore sat down, we started to eat. I peeked over my shoulder towards the Gryffindor table to find Harry with a bloody tissue pressed against his nose.

"What happened to Potter?" Pansy snickered maliciously.

Draco answered her question hastily, "Probably fell down the stairs, dim-wit" he scoffed, the grip he had on his fork tensed.

At that same moment, I could feel a pair of eyes burning into my back. I turned my head near the Professors' tables to discover that my father was staring in my direction. I'm not sure if it's because I've known him for a while or I just assume things, but I figured he wanted to see him after the ceremony. I twisted in my seat and looked at Draco. His expression looked as if it had softened, but his eyes still had a hint of anxiety.

"Uhm, I'm going to go. I'll see you guys later" I waved goodbye, only Blaise acknowledged my gesture and waved back. I stood up from the seat and strolled out of the Great Hall. I took a seat on one of the benches to kill some time before meeting with my father. I played around with the black gemmed ring on my finger nervously. It always troubled me when my father wanted to see me.

I finally mustered up enough courage, I found myself in front of the DAD classroom, pacing patiently for my father to arrive.

"Let's go" his voice surprised me, but I kept my appearance composed. We entered the classroom, it was similar to all the other classes, but had a darker aura. He moved to the front of the room, without looking at me, he started to speak, "**He** has chosen Draco to be the one to kill Dumbledore"

"**What?!**" I shrieked, slamming my fist on the table that was placed in front of me.

"Calm down" he growled lowly, "Now, since I can't keep an eye on Mister Malfoy all the time, I want you to make sure he is safe"

I opened my mouth to differ, but nothing came out of my lips, so instead I merely nodded in agreement. I clasped my teeth together and clenched my fists firmly. I stormed out of the room, leaving my father and rushed to the Slytherin common room.

And when it rains

You always find an escape

Just running away

From all of the ones that love you

"Where's Draco?" I demanded furiously when I spotted Blaise and Pansy sitting near the fire. They both looked up at me astonished.

Blaise was the one to answer me, "I don't know, he disappeared after we left the Great Hall, why?"

I didn't even reply, I stomped out of the common room and wondered the hallways, attempting to calm myself down. 'This can't be happening, damn it' I curled my fist into a ball and hit the wall that was beside me, leaving a blood-red mark on my knuckles. The sharp pain simply made it more troublesome to think straight. I have known Draco Malfoy ever since Severus Snape adopted me. Obviously, at first I thought of him no more than an egoistic maniac with plenty of money. But over the years, I've began to understand the pressure his family has put on him, which resulted to his behaviour. But this, the strain this task must cause him is huge. Over the years, I've realized that Draco Malfoy has feelings and is someone who needs to be shown love and gratitude, because clearly his parents have no idea what those two words mean. I promised my father I would protect him, but I vow to myself to give my life for that boy

I felt a bizarre sensation; it was both heartbreaking and blissful, I wasn't sure what it was. I had finally calmed down, except I still didn't want to face all the questions Pansy was going to overwhelm me with. I settled on walking around the castle for a couple more minutes. It was probably dark outside now, but there were still students walking about. None seemed to acknowledge me, except for one brown eyed boy who was sitting with two others. He stood up and blocked me so I couldn't walk any further.

"Uhm, hi" he greeted awkwardly, shoving his hands in his pockets, shuffling side to side.

"Hi" I addressed uninterestedly, pacing my fingers through my hair without noticing.

"Were you..." he started off, "On the train when Malfoy was there?"

I was taken off guard by his enquiry, "Yeah, why?"

He lowered his voice, "Is something up?"

I frowned and gave a short laughed, "Potter, you really think I'll answer that question. I fixed your nose voluntarily and now you're quizzing me?" Deep down, I was uneasy. 'Does he know something?' I asked myself while staring at him with a collected expression. But he was speechless, therefore I wandered off. After about 10 minutes of my aimless and endless promenade, I collided with someone or something.

"Watch it" I growled, looking up to see Draco, "Oh" As I looked at the blonde boy in front of me, a sudden overwhelming sensation of fear took over my body.

"What are you doing here Robyn?" he demanded, I looked around to see my surrounding weren't familiar to me.

Before I could answer him, I remembered the conversation I had just had with my father. I looked around to make sure no one was in the roundabouts, "What are you doing?" I retorted.

He frowned, "It doesn't matter"

"Draco" I called when he was about 5 feet away from me, "You know you don't have to hide it from me anymore" I stared at him, waiting for a reply but all I got was a nod. I was left alone in the empty hallway, the fear amplified in the stillness.

"Where were you, Robyn?" Pansy enquired the instant I entered the girls' dorm, she and I were the only ones there, which was odd.

I searched the room, but it was completely empty, "Where's everyone?"

"Don't avoid the question"

I raised my eyebrows, "I was taking a walk, alone Pansy."

"Oh...Well everyone is the boys' dorm" she winked,

I jumped on my bed and pulled the curtains, getting changed into my pyjamas. I slipped under my green and silver blankets and closed my eyes. I could hear Pansy searching through something, but she left soon after. I made sure no one was in the room before I took out a piece of paper and started to write.


	3. Repetition Ends in Failure

What a shame we all became

Such fragile broken thing

My memory remains

Just a tiny spark

"Welcome, welcome!" our new, who was rather old, potion professor greeted happily. The classroom was filled with Gryffindor and Slytherin students, each on either sides of the room. I placed myself beside Draco, impatiently waiting for the class to start.

"At least Potter isn't here" Draco murmured,

"Don't speak too soon" I giggled when the door suddenly opened revealing a green eyed boy accompanied by a ginger.

"Sorry" Harry started before Slughorn interrupted him

"No, no, please take a seat!" he insisted. After Potter and Weasley installed themselves, Slughorn explained that we needed to brew a cauldron of Draught of Living Death. Being the [adopted] daughter of a great Potion Master had its benefits. I already knew that the instructions in our "Advance Potion Making" were incorrect. I moved to one of the tables, preparing all that I needed. Beside me Draco began his ingredients, failing miserably.

I chuckled, which offended him; "Shut up Robyn" he attempted to cut the Sopophorous bean, without success. I grabbed the bean and crushed it with the side of the silver knife. "I could have done that on my own"

I smiled arrogantly, "I'm certain you could have done it yourself, Draco" His cheeks turned a light pink in humiliation.

Alongside, I observed that Harry Potter was able to perform the cauldron perfectly. Suspicious, I silently passed by his table, peeking over his shoulder to see his book. Except when he noticed me, he hurriedly slammed in shut, keeping his hand firmly on top. I only caught a glimpse of black inked scribbles.

"Cheating Potter?" I whispered in his ear, his body tensed up at the sound of my voice. I walked away swiftly, returning to my table.

"Alright class, now I will see who has the best Draught of Living Death" Slughorn announced loudly. I could feel Potter's eyes on me. When Slughorn examined Harry's cauldron, he was in awe. "Well Mister Potter, this is a perfect Draught of Living Death!" he let a red leaf fall into the cauldron and it immediately turned brown. Slughorn studied all the other students' cauldron and none of them achieved the correct end result. Finally, he inspected mine, "Ah, excellent! We have a draw between Miss Snape and Mister Potter! Who will obtain the Felix Felicis?"

"Potter can have it, he'll need all the luck he can get" I persisted, give a small smirk in Harry's direction.

"Well then, that's very generous of you Miss Snape" Slughorn complimented, handing the luck potion to a stun Harry. "Class dismissed!"

I grabbed my belongings and headed out the class, followed closely by Draco, "Are you crazy? How could you give Potter than luck potion?!" he asked in disbelief

"Why would I need luck anyways?" I replied unmoved, increasing my pace.

Draco also augmented his steps to keep up, "I could have used it"

"Why? You have my father and me protecting you"

Draco stopped dead in his tracks, "What?"

I also halted on stair I had just step on, gazing down at him.

"I don't need your protection" he declared between his teeth angrily.

"I don't care what you tell me, I will protect you. I'm not sure what my father's intentions are to watch over you, but I know he will"

"I can do this on my own!" he shouted, throwing his arms in the air in rage.

"Did I ever say you couldn't?" I blank expression washed over my face. "But what if something happens? Its better I die than you"

"**Be quiet!** Don't talk like that!" I could clearly see the dread in his face.

I sighed noisily, "You know it's the truth."

He stormed passed me, pushing his shoulder against mine. "Draco" I grunted silently. I ran after him, grabbing a hold on his arm quickly after.

"Let go" he exclaimed, jerking his arm from my grip.

"Just listen to me" I pleaded, following him when he started to walk again. "I'll mind my own business and if you ever need me, just tell me. I won't interfere if you don't want me to, alright?"

"Very well" he simply replied, he strolled off but paused when I started speaking.

"As much as I'm against this whole thing, I believe in you Draco" He continued walking without stopping after that.

"I asked you to watch him no matter what" I heard my father's voice unexpectedly,

"I am, but he doesn't need to know that. Its better if he doesn't worry about others watching him during the whole event" I answered.

How to Love:

Say it

Empathize

Love unconditionally

Except nothing in return

Realize it can be lost

It wasn't until I checked my alarm clock that I realized it was 3am and I still hadn't slept. An old piece of creased parchment laid on the side of my pillow, folded neatly, untouched.

An owl had delivered it earlier that night. It had been a reply to the letter I had written; I was too restless to open it. Ultimately, I grasped the tan piece of paper and unfolded it.

Dear Robyn Snape,

We will meet you at Malfoy's Manor this Christmas.

That was the only sentence written. I crumbled it up and threw it under my bed. I laid my head on my pillow, attempting once more to fall asleep.

The next morning, I could feel like lack of sleep creeping back to haunt me. I tossed and turn underneath the sheets until I was facing my alarm clock. '7:00' glowed in flashy greenish color; I let a loud sigh escape my lip as I pulled myself out of my bed. All the girls were of course, still asleep. I could even hear Pansy's bothersome snoring. I clutched my school clothes from the suit case I was too indolent to unpack, my toothbrush and darted to the girl's washroom, wand in hand.

In front of the mirror I could see the chaos I called my hair. Pointing the black, slim wand to my hand, I used a spell to straighten it. I browsed through the things I had grabbed and came across my blue and green toothbrush. "I suppose a toothbrush is useless without toothpaste" I mumbled to myself, jogging back to the girls turn. But before I could reach the door that led there, I was stopped by a tall, slender body dressed in dark garments. I pushed myself against the unknown body to steady myself.

"Ungainly, Robyn?" a mocking tone of voice came from the boy in front of me. I needn't look up to recognize the boy.

"Shut up Draco" I blushed slightly, passing my hand through my newly uncurled hair, "I was in a rush"

"You've already collided with me two times in a period of less than 24 hours, I'd call that ungainly" he teased, a smirk finding his lips.

Following 30 long seconds, I realized I had forgotten my purpose, "Wait for me, I'll be back"

Surely enough, when I came back from upstairs, he was waiting impatiently in the common room's couch. "Bloody woman, hurry up"

"Leave without me then" I commented, fighting a grin from appearing on my mouth, knowing he wouldn't leave.

Ever since my father adopted me, Draco and I have been very close, even if we liked it or not. Of course, at first we despised each other. It wasn't until the third year, about 5 years after I had met Draco, that I started becoming very protective of him. It was right after he had been injured by that Hippogriff, Buckbeak. He was lying on the bed in the infirmary; I was muffling a laugh into the sleeve of my robe.

"_Shut up Snape!" he had yelled angrily, obviously embarrassed by the whole thing._

_I laughed out loud now, only aggrading his annoyance, "Come on Malfoy. That was hilarious; your jealousy towards Potter is..." Before I could finish my sentence, I had started sniggering again._

"_I am not jealous of Potter!" he argued furiously, glaring intensively in my direction. We were alone in the infirmary, Pansy was forced to leave and the nurse was checking on another student in a different room. That had been about 3 hours ago. I stared as he held his broken arm tightly; he looked like he was actually in pain._

"_You wuss" I said softly with a tender smile as I reached towards his arm, placing my hand lightly on his arm. When I looked back at his face, he was looking away with a light pink covering his cheeks. Instinctively, I opened my mouth to taunt him, but instead, I just sat on the hard plastic chair._

"_You don't need to stay here, you idiot" he spoke a moment later._

"_I tried to be nice and this is how you treat me? No wonder no one likes you!" _

"_Slytherins aren't suppose to be kind"_

"_Well then" I squeezed his arm with my fingers, watching him flinch. I quickly loosen my grip, giggling._

"_You evil wench"_

_I beamed happily._

After that, we didn't talk. I kept my arm on his, never moving it. He never asked me or pushed me away, either until the nurse arrived.

I watched myself smile in the reflection in the mirror. I had brushed my teeth and fixed my hair up with bobby pins in a time space of about 5 minutes. Satisfied with my work; I changed quickly and headed to the common room where eager Draco waited.

"Finally" he grunted, lifting off the divan, walking around it and already in route for the passage way to the halls. We walked in silence, the drama that had occurred the night before had seemed to vanish and the tension between us gone with it. Draco and I weren't the typical type relationship, of course who would be with Draco Malfoy. We argued mostly all the time, we never complimented each other, we actually put each other down but you could always find us together and we would always defend one another without the other actually finding out. I guess over the period of time we spent together, we had become best friends, even if we'll never admit it.

When we got to the Great Hall, it was packed and food covered the wooden table. I sat next to Blaise, as Draco sat in front of us, Pansy quickly switching places to be next to him. Everything felt as it should be, everything looked as it should be. But I could feel someone burning whole in the back of my head, when I peeked over my shoulder, I hasn't surprised to see the famous trio staring our way. Deciding to ignore them, I started up a conversation.

"Are any of you trying out for Quidditch?"

Like always, Blaise was the first to answer me, "Nah, not even worth it"

"I think Potter is the one deciding on the Gryffindors' team" Pansy whispered like it was some huge secret.

I heard Draco snort, "That should be interesting to watch" he assumed sarcastically.

"Well, fine. You guys are too dim-witted to try out anyways. I will try out!" I announced.

"You? You're the more ham-fisted person I know" Blaise sniggered loudly.

I slapped a hand to my chest, pretending to be offended, "I will the best Quidditch player there ever was! I of course will be even better than Harry Potter himself!" I ragged.

"I'll believe when I see it" Draco smirked.

I pointed at him with the carrot I had picked up from the basket of veggies, "You better be there" I said, taking a bite out of the carrot stick.

Later during the day, I found myself on a broomstick, managing to be completely upside down without falling to my doom.

"Holy sh*t" I swore, holding for dear life on the wooden stick. I could see the golden ball I was suppose to catch floating right in front of my eyes, right out of arms reach, like it was making fun of my misery. I pulled myself upright and chased the Snitch. I reached one more time towards it, my fingers brushing lightly against it. It suddenly flew upwards, so I did too.

Ten and a half minutes later of ups and down, I miraculously trapped the damn ball in my hand. My ego grew so big, I hadn't thought of looking in front of myself. Oblivious of the wall in front of me, I crashed full force into my roadblock, leaving a nasty bruise under my eye. I held tightly to the Golden Snitch as I carefully lowered to the ground, giving the damned thing to the coach.

"Arg, that's going to leave a mark" the coach commented, examining my eye.

I walked away without a word, frowning furiously and annoyed. I pitched my broom at a crowd of first years, hearing their gasp and grunts. When I passed Draco, Blaise and Pansy, who were all chuckling, I gave a deadly look no one could ever mistake and they knew to not say a word and stopped laughing immediately. I ribbed the ice out of the assistant coach who had rushed to fetch it, pressing it against my aching face.

"Come on Robyn. That was hilarious" I heard Draco repeat what I had said those years before while I sat next to him in the common room in front of the burning fireplace.

"Never again" was all I replied.

"It can't be that bad" he extended his arm towards my face, grabbing my chin to turn my figure to face him. He brushed his finger on the bruise, making it stink slightly.

"Ow" I whispered under my breath. "I thought Slytherin weren't suppose to be kind"

His finger pressed 5 times harder, I quickly hit his hand away, "OW!" I shrieked louder this time. Remembering his scene made me smile from ear to ear.

"What are you so giddy about?" he questioned, turning his body so he wasn't facing me anymore.

I stared as the flames licked the wood; I could feel the warmth on my face, "Just remembering old times" I took a deep breath and readied myself for the worse when I grabbed his hand that was lying motionless beside me. "It'll be...alright" I spoke, as if I was trying to convince myself of the events yet to come.

"Of course it will" he spoke slowly, in the same tone as mine, his hand still unmoved. The warmth of skin on mine was comforting, knowing he was here, unharmed.

'I love you' were the unspoken words that filled my head. I have never felt love, never received love, I didn't know what love was.

So why were those words circling through my mind?


	4. I'm Reminded, That I am Blinded

Hello, hello, is anyone home?

Hello, hello, just pick up the phone

You'll be sorry to hear, I'm doing fine

Sorry to hear, you're without me now

A shiver travelled down my spine, the snow underneath my feet was soft. I rubbed both my arms in attempt to keep myself warm in this God forsaken weather; it had seemed to arrive quickly. Only three weeks had passed by and already the ground was covered with a white blanket. I sported a thick, black winter coat, a green and silver scarf with matching gloves and bonnet. My dark boots left small imprints behind me as I walked towards the Three Broomsticks. Usually I would refuse to leave the castles unless completely necessary in this sort of climate, but I was compelled to keep an eye on Draco. And apparently he had to select the chilliest day to leave without informing anyone. I presumed it was relate to the affair with Dumbledore, so I rapidly got dressed and started my awful journey in this awful blizzard which consisted of a measly couple of snowflakes.

When I lastly got to the Three Broomsticks, numerous students were surrounding the tables, hot beverages in front of them as they chatted between them. I pulled off my hat and stuffed it in my coat pocket, smoothening out my hair. I searched the room, but there were no signs of Draco.

"Ah! Miss Snape!" I heard an elderly voice speak. I turn on my heels to see Professor Slughorn. Only after approaching him did I become aware of the three others standing with him. "You know Robyn Snape, right Harry?"

"I don't really speak with Slytherins, sir" Harry answered, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Well! In the short time I've known Miss Snape, you couldn't even speculate that she was a Slytherin, sweet girl she is" he smiled

I stuffed my hands in my pockets after pulling a strand of hair behing my ear, shifting weight slightly, "Was there something you needed, Professor?"

"I was wondering if you were going to assist to my ball."

"If someone asks me, I suppose" I answered, observing Harry from the corner of my eye.

Slughorn smiled once more, "I hope to see you there!"

I nodded and gave him a slight smile and strolled away towards the stairs of the small building.

Harry Potter point of view.

After Robyn left, we all sat down with Professor Slughorn, sipping on our drinks. I played with my cup in a nervous matter for a couple of seconds before lifting my head and asking Professor Slughorn a question,

"Sir, when you say Robyn is not your typical Slytherin, what do you mean exactly?"

He seemed taken off guard by the question, "Well my boy, we all know that Slytherin's are usually sneaky and they can be quite bad-mannered. But Miss Snape, she's a very polite and well put together young woman. She's been helping me in your potion class, even staying after class to help clean up!"

I peered over the professor's shoulder to see Robyn in the stair case, searching across the room, a concerned expression plastered on her face, "But, why would see be placed in Slytherin if her personality is completely different"

Once against, he was caught off guard, "I'm not sure" but by the looks in his eyes, he did know.

Robyn's point of view.

I was still standing in the stairs when people started to gather their things and exit the area. I had no clue where Draco was and I was starting to get anxious, but there was no sense in standing in a flight of steps all night. I grabbed my hat from my pocket and pulled it over my head, preparing myself for the worse.

I looked at my feet as I walked alone outside, I could hear other students talk but it was only when I heard someone's shrieking cries that I decide to stop in my tracks and look up. A couple of feet in the air hung a girl with long, straight, black hair. Katie Bell was her name if I remember correctly. Evidently Harry, Hermione and Ron stood watching, another girl beside them. On the ground below the girl was a necklace.

'That's what he was doing' I thought.

"I told her not to touch it, she said she had to bring it to Dumbledore" the other girl panicked. I ran up to them, without a word, pulling out my wand. But before I could do anything, Hagrid had gotten to her.

"I'll take her; just go tell Dumbledore about it." I told him, grabbing the girl on my back and dashing to the nurse's office.

When we got there, I left Katie and darted through the halls for any sign of Draco. It wasn't until I was about to give up that I finally found him lingering in the hallway.

"You imbecile!" I hollered angrily, taking long stride to close the distance between us. He spun his head to face me; his eyes looked dreadful and exhausted. "How dare you put innocent people in danger like that, she could have died!"

He didn't say anything, he simply stared. I clenched and unclenched my fist slowly, taking in a deep breath. "Draco, you know this way won't work. So please don't put anymore lives in danger. It's not even worth it, you're just drawing attention to it"

"What I do and how I do things is my decision, not yours! I can do this on my own" his voice was trembling, like he had been crying for a very long time.

This time, it was my turn to walk away, furious. I went to the girls' dorm, grabbing fresh clothes, a towel and other things to take a shower.

Under the boiling water, I could feel my skin crawling; the image of Katie in the air with her mouth wide opened was drawn out in my mind. I wasn't fit for this, this wasn't me. I wasn't a malevolent person; all I wanted was people to be safe. But of course I had to keep an act up for my father and that damned Dark Lord. That was the only way I could stay here, under his commands. A weapon was what he called me, nothing more than a tool. I had no purpose other than that and I wasn't seen any way else. That was why I was adopted by my father a year before I would attend Hogwarts. Of course, if that hadn't been the case, I would still be living in the streets. No parents or family to take me in.

After a long shower, I got dressed and proceed to bed.

I didn't want to deal with all the awful memories and the only way to avoid them was with a dreamless sleep.


	5. Your Lovesick Melody

I've gone too far to come back from here

But you don't have a clue

You don't know what you do to me

"Robyn, do you want to go shopping for our dresses?" Pansy asked excitedly, literally jumping up and down in joy. She, of all people, had gotten a date with some boy I didn't know well. She bragged about it mostly all that Saturday afternoon.

"I'm not going to Professor Slughorn's party" I answered uninterested, browsing through my things to make it seem like I had other matters to deal with.

She pouted dramatically, crossing her arms over her chest like a young child about to have a fit, "Come on Robyn! Please" she dragged on the last syllable of the word long enough to turn purple.

"Alright, alright" I agreed, accompanied with a long, heavy sigh.

Reaching our destination, I could see a million other girls who had had the same plan as Pansy. She entered the story prancing with a smug air about her. The store was crammed with shrieking girls and colorful dresses. One red, a pink one, orange, blue, green, they all passed in front of me in a blur like a vivid dream that you couldn't quite make out. Pansy was reaching out for an ostentatious yellow dress; I walked up and clutched it for her, only to get it ribbed out of my hand.

"I'll go try it on" she told me, barging into other girls on her way to the dressing room. I sat down on a small stool that was placed near a rack of shoes. Pansy appeared moments later dressed in a yellow cocktail dress with shirred, surplice bodice detailed with silver tone metallic pin. She twirled around, making the skirt lift up slightly.

"It's nice" I complimented, standing up from my little seat.

"I know" she said, ogling herself in the mirror that was beside us, turning to look a every angle of her body. "Which one are you taking?"

I frowned, "I told you I'm not going"

Pansy decided to ignore me as she browsed through a rack of dresses, pulling out an orange fabric. The cocktail dress featured shimmering metallic fabric with a sweetheart neckline and a bodice that flowed to a subtly bubble hem.

It was not my style at all, but to please Pansy and mostly to shut her up, I agreed to buy it.

When we got back to the common room, Blaise was sitting with other boys around the coffee table playing poker. After a brief hello, I went upstairs to hide the dress I bought to have an excuse for not going to the party. Reaching my bed, I saw a medium sized packaged, well grabbed with a silver bowtie. A small piece of paper was attached, it read: "I hope you enjoy the Christmas party with Draco, here's a little gift – Narcissa"

I suppose I would have to look over Draco if he went to the party, so I didn't overanalyze the note. I carefully opened the gift, reviling what seemed a pool of liquid silver and a pair of black high heels. Clutching the silvery fabric, I apprehended that it was a long, flowing dress. There was also another piece of material I assumed was to hide the dark mark. I gazed at the orange dress I had just purchased and back to the one in my hands. I folded the shiny gray dress neatly, seized the orange dress and ambled downstairs.

That night, the hassle and bustle of the party had finally settled in and everyone was getting dressed and prepped. Pansy wore her yellow cocktail dressed, her hair curled loosely and her makeup was heavy. From smoky eye to red lips.

"Where's your dress Robyn?" she questioned once more as I sat on the side of my bed, watching the girls going insane over something so modest.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I'm not going"

She rolled her eyes, leaving in alone in the room while she followed the other girls out. Alone in the room, I glanced at the box beside my mattress. I heaved a sigh and forced my body up, clutching the dress and stripping down. The material felt nice on my skin, the fit of the dress was perfect and gave the impression that it floated right above the floor. It was a halter neck with deep v-neck and a slim and shirred waist with cascading sash and rhinestone brooch.

I took the smaller piece of silver material and slipped it over my arm and arranged it to hide the mark carefully. I pressed my hands on it to smoothen it out; the heels that I received were still on the bed.

I could barely walk without tripping in sneakers; I couldn't possibly walk in five inch heels.

I convinced myself to wear the heels after many arguments between myself and I was now standing in the hall way in front of the location of the Christmas party. My hair was tied up in a messy, somehow elegant bun, a rhinestone brooch, similar to the one on my dress, pinned to hold it all up. I pushed the door open slowly, the voices on the other side growing louder. I entered to see a swarm of people. The first one to spot me was Pansy, who was standing next to her date who looked utterly bored.

"Where's you orange dress?" she yelled over the crowd of voice, sounding angry.

I searched around the room, my eyes stopping in front of a girl sporting a metallic, orange dress, "There"

It looked like she was about to have a panic attack, "You gave your dress away?"

Without replied to her comment, I went to get something to drink, secluding myself from the others. I gave the dress to a girl in Ravenclaw. I knew she did not have money to spend on clothes that she would only wear once, so I gave her the one I bought after finding the one I'm wearing. At first, she was in shock to have me talking to her, I hadn't talked much myself, I simply handed her the dress and told her I had just bought it. I showed her the receipt and she took it. I only hope Pansy wouldn't go around announcing my good deed to the world, it wouldn't be too beneficial for my "heartless" Slytherin reputation.

Once the party had calmed down a bit, I exited the area. I stumbled a couple of times due to the heels, so I pulled off the strappy heels. The marble floor was cold on my feet; all I could hear were my footsteps until I hear two voices murmuring. But as I approached the voices, I rapidly associated them to Draco and my father. By their tones, I knew they were arguing.

"I don't need anyone's help" Draco snapped, both my father and his head jerked in my direction.

I stepped closer, "Is something wrong?"

My father was the one to answer me, "Yes"

I stared at him intensively, frowning slightly. "That mark, it's the unbreakable vow, right?" my eyes were now aimed at his arm. He pulled his sleeve down, by the time I lifted my head, and he had already left.

"You went to Slughorn's party?" Draco asked, his eyes travelling from my head to my bare toes.

"Heels" I assumed he'd be wondering why I was barefooted. "Um, would you like to go back with me" I pointed with my thumb towards the party.

He snorted, "Yeah, right" he answered sarcastically

I smiled kindly, grabbing his hand with both of mine. "It'll be fun"


	6. Your Voice Comes in and Now it's Fading

And do you ever want me, do you ever need me?

I know that you left before goodbye

And it's okay, there's always another day

And anytime you want me, anytime you see me

I don't think you meant to say goodbye

And it's okay, there's always another day

"I have other things to do" he persisted, pulling his hand out of my grip. I could feel a tug on my heart at the same instant.

"I understand" I answered, my voice betraying me. A simple whisper was all I could manage.

He stared down at me for a few seconds before walking off on his own. I felt foolish standing here all dressed up, the letter that Narcissa had sent. 'I hope you enjoy the Christmas party with Draco' was written. I felt my eyes burning, tears tugging, an alien feeling. I was imprudent to even imagine that Draco Malfoy might ever consider, well I wasn't sure what, but somehow my heart knew. While standing there by myself, I, at long last, experience what it was to cry. I pressed my back against the castle's wall, slowly sliding down to a sitting position. I held my head up with my hands, muffling the sobs escaping my lips. I wasn't sure if that tiny rejection that was expected that triggered the emotions or simply because I kept everything bottled up. I wiped the tears stubbornly with the back of my hand, pushing myself off the ground. At that moment, I promised to never let my emotions get the best of me, ever.

Christmas Break

Draco and I boarded the train in silence, finding our seat in the same fashion. I sat down facing him, turning my head to look outside. Draco shifted in his bench for a few seconds, and then sat motionless. A knock on the door was heard, but neither of us answered, we simply stayed quiet. I looked through my bag to snatch a water bottle. I took a swing of water before I ultimately glanced at Draco. His expression was unreadable, his posture straight and his hands on his lap. It was unusually different from his typical stance. I toyed with the paper around the bottle uneasily. Out of the blue, my body jerked forward. I turned my head to see out the window. Naked trees and white blurred pass my vision. I pressed the back of my head against the cushion behind me. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Draco Malfoy's point of view 

Robyn had been asleep for about half an hour before I pulled out the piece of parchment sticking out of her brown carrier. I unfurled it; it looked like it had been unfolded and folded again many times. I read it carefully, only one sentence was written across the old beige paper. I revised it many times; attempting to decode the message. The writing was almost illegible and unfamiliar. I grimaced and crumbled the paper, shoving it in my pocket.

"Robyn" I exclaimed when the recognizable landscape started to appear. She stirred slightly, but her eyes remained closed, that's when I noticed the bead of sweats rolling down her forehead. I stood up and placed my hand on her shoulder to shake her. Before I could do anything, her eyes shot open, a terrified expression spread over her face.

Robyn Snape's point of view

My heartbeats raced at a hundred miles per hour, the back of my hands were clammy. I tried to recap what I had just witnessed. But all I could remember was the puddle of blood on the black marbled floor. Fear immobilized my whole body, my limbs felt as if they were frozen.

"Robyn" I heard a voice call out, but it sounded distant. I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out. He shook me violently, his grip firm on my arms. "Damn it Robyn, stop this nonsense"

At long last, I regained my ability to speak, "Sorry" My voice sounded shaky and unsure.

"What it bloody hell just happened?!" Draco shouted, throwing his arms up in the air.

"I don't know, horrible nightmare I guess"

He groaned loudly, clutching his bag. I did the same, exiting the compartment behind him. The train gave the impression of being empty compared to the beginning of the year.

Outside the train waited family members. It didn't take long to spot Narcissa since she was the one to find us first. She embraced Draco happily, "Oh Draco, I'm so glad to see you!" She let him go and her glance turn towards me, "Ah! Robyn" she hugged me also, "Did you like the gift I sent you?" she asked, giggling like a young girl.

"Yes, thank you. It was beautiful"

She smiled, "Well, we shall be going"

While walking out of the train station, I scanned my surrounding. There were children embracing their parents, laughter, and greetings, there's even parents' crying. I pulled the strap of my bag tighter on my shoulder. Draco strolled silently beside me; I peeked sideways to examine his face. Once more, his expression was composed and unreadable. I quicken my pace to catch up to Narcissa who seemed in a rush.

"Ah, there's the car!" she exclaimed excitedly when she finally spotted the black, sleek limousine. A house elf stood in front of the rear door, fidgeting anxiously. He rapidly opened the door when Narcissa approached, bowing his head. She bent over and entered without a word, Draco followed her exampled. I glanced down at the terrified elf and whispered a thank you before going in.

The interior of the limo was dark. Tinted windows, black leather seats, a dark shade of grey for the ceiling and sides were also black. It gave a sinister atmosphere, as though we were criminal hiding. Well I suppose we were some sort of criminals. I stared down at my feet, it wasn't the first time I was taken to the Malfoy Manor for Christmas Holiday, but somehow I knew this visit would be extremely different. The image of blood disturbed my thoughts; it sent chills down my spine. But this time around, I remembered more than just a crimson liquid on a black floor. In the middle of that pool was a fair haired boy wearing black. The life in his blue/grey eyes was fading rapidly. I remember hearing the faint sound of dripping water, but I couldn't comprehend were the dream would have taken place.

My train of thought was interrupted by Narcissa speaking, "Ah! We're here"

"Finally" Draco groaned his hand in one of the pockets of his trousers.

The car halted to a stop and we all exited quickly. Outside it had stopped snowing and we could clearly see the enormous house.

"Draco, go help Robyn settle in the guest room" Narcissa ordered, walking ahead of us. Draco led the way inside the mansion where we were greeted by many house elves. Draco easily ignored them while I gave them a small smile. We reached the long stairway, but before I could even take a step, I heard someone call my name.

"Ah Robyn Snape" the voice sounded disturbing and fairly threatening. I spun on my heels to see the dark haired woman who held a smirk on her lips.

"Bellatrix" I addressed rather coldly, her smirk only growing bigger.

She looked up at Draco and then back down to me. Right then, I gave her a sharp look, warning her to shut her mouth. She sniggered mockingly and sauntered out of the room. I passed my hand through my messy hair and started climbing the stairs, hoping Draco wouldn't address what had just been said.

"What was that all about?" he asked as though I had thought out loud.

I jogged up the stairs to be standing adjacent to him, "I don't know what you're talking about."

He let the subject go, but I was certain it would be brought up once more. I opened the door to the familiar guest room which was alongside Draco's bedroom. The inside had changed since last year. On the farthest wall was placed a gracefully king size curving intricately carved sleigh bed, as a bedside chest, a dresser, and a beveled dresser mirror. A blue carpet was spread across the middle of the room, covering wooden flooring. On the walls hung golden curtains, hidden them were floor to ceiling length windows. There were four lamps in the whole room plus a chandelier suspended from the ceiling. At the far left of the room was a door to the bathroom, which was almost connected to Draco's room.

I set my bag on the bed, pulling out clothes to change into different from a long sleeve shirt. I pulled on a pair of dark flared jeans with a grey t-shirt that had a silk bow at one side. I drew my hair back into a ponytail and clipped a pearl necklace around my neck.  
I opened the door to an empty hallway, I could hear chattering downstairs. I started to walk down the stairs slowly, dreading what I knew was waiting for me downstairs.

"Robyn" I heard before I reached the last step.


	7. Maybe it can Stop Tomorrow

And I am here still waiting

Though I still have my doubts

I am damaged at best

Like you've already figured out

I turned around to spot Draco on the top of the stairs, his face was fuming but his voice was dangerously composed. I attained the summit of the stretched flight of steps to simply to be pulled harshly into a bedroom. I was caught my surprised, but once I collected myself I took in my whereabouts to realize I was standing in Draco's room.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, facing Draco.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw, as if he was coaching himself to calm down. After a moment he spoke quietly as to avoid screaming at the top of his lungs, "What is this?" he showed me two pieces of parchment, one that had been crumbled into a little ball.

"I don't know" I fibbed, staring straight in his eyes, avoiding eye contact with the beige papers.

He took in a sharp breath, "I am not dim-witted"

"Draco-"

"Stop!" he ordered angrily, making me stumble back in surprise. He threw the letters on the ground, the writing visible. "I told you to not interfere"

The parchment on the left side was the one I had receive from Bellatrix, the other was written in neat, rounded letters which I knew too well as my own writing.

I wish to replace Draco Malfoy in the mission to assassin Albus Dumbledore. Due to the fact that I have not yet earned any suspicion relating to the Dark Lord, I believe it will be effortless to deal with the affair. It would be greatly appreciate to receive a response.

Thank you

Sincerely yours,

Robyn Snape

I hadn't written any address since I wasn't even sure who to send it to, exactly. I crouched down and seized the two parchments, "I'm sorry" I whispered.

"I don't need your pathetic help" he yelled louder this time. I flinched at the hurtful words.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I replied, my voice harsher than intended. "Didn't you realize that the Dark Lord picked you out of all the strong wizards in his army right after your father failed his mission?!" my voice grew louder every three words and I was practically yelling near the end. "Can't you understand that he doesn't even believe in you because he's using you to punish your family? God Draco, are you that blind? I can't even stand knowing that fact, I rather die than see you hurt."

Swiftly, his hand collided with the side of my face. My eyes widened and I stumbled to the side, "Shut up you wench!"

"I won't shut up! I know you know there's truth in what I just said and you're scared."

He remained soundless for a minute and twirling to stand facing the door, his back to me, before resuming, "You say that you rather die than see me hurt," he snorted, "Did you ever think that maybe I felt the same way about you"

I kept still for a split second while he walked out the bedroom before hastily catching up to him, "You don't mean that" I told him.

"How would you know" he kept on pacing down the long hallway, I trailed behind him.

"Well, I mean you're-"

"Don't even use that against me Robyn" he snapped before I could finish my sentence.

I halted, "Draco, I didn't know you cared"

He replied unemotionally, "Now you do" he continued to walk.

"Then stop running away from me! Every time we have a talk like this, you solve it by leaving."

He bowed his head, "I have to"

"This is ridiculous!" I threw my arms up in the arm in frustration.

"This is our lives"

"Well, if this is the path chosen for me, maybe I don't want to walk the damn thing. I rather die"

He glared daggers my way, "Don't speak like that"

"Live your life Draco, but don't expect to back off from this whole affair"

He stared at me with cold, emotionless eyes, "I assumed I could believe you when you told me you'd let me deal with this whole thing and only interfere if I requested."

I stomped down the stairs in silence, brushing by Bellatrix on my way down. I could hear her obnoxious sniggering from afar; it grew fainter with every furious step I took.

Draco Malfoy's point of view

"Well, well" Bellatrix, who stood behind me now, chuckled. I didn't even bother looking up at her to know she had a smug expression on her face. "My dear nephew, we are going to pay a visit to those Weasley and Potter, would you like to join us?"

"No" I spat out, entering my own room and closing the door shut.

"Do as you like" I heard Bellatrix say before her footstep faded.

I striped off my clothes and wrapped a towel around my waist previous to entering the attached bathroom. I stepped in the shower under the cascade of blistering water after pulling off the towel. All I could heed was the rushing water, which soothes my mind for a couple of seconds. I knew my time limit was coming to a close and the constant worry was beginning to become wearisome. I pumped shampoo into my hand and lathered my hair completely and plunged my head under the hammering water.

Robyn Snape's point of view

I had decided to walk in the home garden in the backyard to calm my nerves but the tension I felt throughout my body only grew further as I treaded between the beautiful and color plants. At first glance, you would never believe this house belonged to the Malfoys'. The house was a pure white, surrounded with multi-coloured flowers and massive trees. From roses to petunias, they were scattered from one end of the yard to the other side.

I crouched down to be levelled with one of the rose bushes. The flowers were a beautiful cherry shade, their leaves a vivid jade. I raised one of the buds which had fallen weak due to the fact that it was closer to the ground and the others shaded it from the sun. It didn't have a vibrant aura about this blossom but had a very similar resemblance to myself. Hidden by others, it isn't able to grow on its own and hold its head up high. Its shelter was the others around it, their protection more like suffocation.

Unexpectedly, someone placed their hand on my shoulder. I stiffen before turning my head to discover who this mysterious person was.

"Oh, it's only you" I stood up, brushing Draco's hand from my shoulder.

"I'm scared"

His sudden confession caught me unprepared, I faced him to notice he was scaring down at his hands.

"I don't know what to do anymore" he wept. I took a step closer hesitantly, reaching out a hand to touch his arm lightly. When I saw that he was unmoved, I pulled him into a tight embrace. His arms were limp on his sides; I could feel his heartbeat racing against my chest.

We both didn't utter a word until I broke the silence, "It'll be okay Draco, I promise"


	8. Don't Let your Eyes Refuse to See

When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears  
It was easy to see you'd been crying  
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns  
But who really profits from the dying

Christmas turn up more rapidly than I presumed. The snow fell gracefully, settling delicately on the white ground. It seemed as though the horizon stretched on ceaselessly in front of me. My hair whipped vigorously when the wind picked up. To my left stood endless trees, a forest which I had ran through many times in my childhood. When my father brought me to the Malfoy' Manor, I would run into the wooded area to hide from Draco every time the adults would tell us to go play.

The thought painted a smile on my lips. I crutched down and grabbed a handful of feathery snow, rolling between my two hands until it formed a round shape. My black gloved hands produced a contrast with the white flurry. I extended my knees to stand straight when I heard crutching footsteps behind me.

"I didn't know you would be here father" I addressed the man clothed in dark that remained alongside a tall tree, a couple of feet far back from where I stood.

He took a step closer, "Have you seen anything?"

I pursed my lip at his direct question, my body fidgeting anxiously. I move my head up and down mechanically. Flashing through my mind was the image of blood on the black marble floor. I had first dreamt the nightmare in the train and it had repeated every night since.

My dreams were known to be very precise with the events of the future. For instance, I dreamt of the destruction of the Millennium Bridge weeks before. Even when as a young child, I would dream of the future. This fact interested the Dark Lord, for this reason I became Robyn Snape. Only Voldemort, my father and Bellatrix knew of this unusual gift.

"The image isn't clear enough, I can't make out exactly what it is" I explained in a low voice.

He made a droning sound, "You should be heading back to the manor. I believe they are service supper shortly" his monotone voice pierced my ears before he turn on his heels to walk back towards the enormous house.

I knelt back down; my arms hugged my knees tightly. I buried my face between my legs and chest, unmoved for a long moment.

My slim fingers hit on the ivory keys, sliding down from each one elegantly in a soft melody, "Remember all the things we wanted; now all the memories they're haunted. We were always meant to say goodbye. Even with our fist held high, it never would've worked out right. We were never meant for do or die. I didn't want us to burn out; I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop…"

My fingertips brushed against the keys lightly. An old piano was placed in the middle of a large room. The walls were painted a rich chocolate brown, a wooden floor sprawled across the room.

"Robyn, supper time" someone informed after opening the door, which made a loud creaking noise, slowly. Draco pulled on his cuffs in a nervous matter as he waited for my response.

"Alright" I pushed back with my feet, the bench scratching against the floor and stood up. I walked across to him; he wore a black jacket with dark pants. I had a sudden urge to stroke his face with my hand, remembering what had occurred weeks ago. But I resisted, we hadn't discussed it since that night, and I did not plan to bring it up any time soon.

I dodged him and took long strides to my room to quickly alter my garments. After entering my room, I shuffled through the vanity and pulled out a spaghetti strap dress with shirred bodice and empire waist. A silver ribbon was trimmed at the waist and hem, the rest of the dress was black. I stripped down and put the dress on. I simply tied my hair into a side ponytail and applied light makeup. I exited my room and jogged to the dining room where every one sat.

"Robyn!" Narcissa exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together, a smiled sprawled across her face. I sat in the empty chair beside Draco before replying with a curt nod. The elves had already served the appetizer. To my left was Draco, to my right, my father. Narcissa sat in front of me. I picked up a fork and picked at the salad and vegetables in front of me.

"How are you enjoying your vacation dear?" Narcissa was clearly addressing Draco now.

"Fine"

"Robyn, you still remember your proposal, correct?" Bellatrix asked, I hadn't noticed her up until now. I shoot her a cold glance, spearing the salad in my plate.

I could feel Draco's body tense beside me, his back rigid, "No, I have not" I answered in a flat voice.

She smirked, if only we were alone, I would have ripped her head off. My fist clenched around the metal fork, I swear I felt it bent lightly. "I would rather not talking about it at this moment"

"Please do" she insisted.

"Bellatrix" I snapped rudely, banging my fist on the table, "Please let it go"

"How come at first, when it was proposed, you declined the Dark Lord's request?" her eyes had a crazy aura to them

Narcissa and Draco both looked at me in surprise, their glance shifted towards Bellatrix.

She laughed hysterically, as though this was the most hilarious thing she's ever witnessed.

"But when you heard that my dear nephew Draco was the one chosen to finish off the old man, she made a 'poof' sound, her hands thrown dramatically in the air, "you're mind sudden changed"

"I don't see the association; I just believe it would be effortless if I were the one to accomplish it" my voice was calm, contrary to my heart beating a thousand miles per hour. I wasn't certain if Bellatrix was implying that I had fallen in love with Draco or if she just had a thrill to play games with my mind. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I lost my appetite" I pushed the chair with my feet and lifted off the seat, disappearing from their view.

The snow was bitter and icy against my bare feet but still I walked on. To me, running away was always the one and only solution. Maybe it out of fear of what might happen if I actually left, disappear from this miserable life. I had never chosen path, I hated Voldemort with a burning passion. But I knew that wasn't enough. I am aware that Bellatrix' accusation were more accurate than I wished. I seemed to always reach out for the unreachable, the untouchable. I continuously let my emotions get the best of me. Storming out of that dining room table was an enormous mistake and I understood that. I would have to deal with the consequence; I only hope it didn't involve death...

But then again, maybe I wanted death.

I was down in the same spot my father had found me earlier, next to the rows of endless trees. In front of me was infinity of a beautiful white blanket. My heart squeezed tightly as I kept walking to find the end of the unknown. By now, my feet were comfortably numb. The wind whipped my dress vigorously, it made my skin crawl.

The idea of death was still lingering in my mind. If I would have remained in that dining room, I am certain if I would have stayed in that damned room; I would have quickly found my end. But I believe something stopped me.

I hadn't looked at Draco's face during the whole affair.

Love is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person. At least that's what is written in the dictionary. Of course I have no experience involving that so called love. I was never loved by the mother who had carried me for nine months; at least I have no memory of it. Severus Snape wasn't one to show many emotions, let alone deep, tender ineffable feeling of affection. With no knowledge of love, how could I feel it towards a boy I use to hate?

I guess you just know.

"You're extremely potty"

Something warm wrapped around my shoulders, only then did I notice how awfully cold my body had gotten.

"You'll get ill, come back inside"

I sneered, "That's comical"

All of a sudden, my feet weren't sunken in the snow. My legs were tangling from Draco's arm. He held me closely to his chest, walking back towards the house that seemed very tiny at the moment. I now realize how far I had wondered off. My eye lid felt heavy but I forced them opened, concentrating on the small house that was getting bigger as we approached it.

"Bellatrix' going to kill me" I informed him hazily, my voice overwhelmed with fatigue.

"She won't lay a finger on you"

"Exactly, she'll curse me" a yawn escaped my lips, how long had I been out?

Draco did not answer me this time, or maybe he did. My head was swimming, I could only hear his heart beat against me ear.


	9. Everyone Waits for You Now

The next morning, I woke up to see an elf inches away from my face.

"Ah!" I let out a shriek, making the little elf jump.

He started to bow uncontrollably, "I am terribly sorry madam! I was only trying to see if madam's fever went down because Master Draco asked! But madam kept moving and mumbling Master Draco's name"

I blushed feverishly as he spoke, waving my hands in front of my face, "Please, don't apologize. It's fine, I'll stop moving"

And so I did, he timidly took my temperature and exited the room in a hurry.

"He didn't even tell me if I had a fever" I told myself whilst scratching the back of my neck. I pushed down the covers and attempted to jump out of bed. It simply resulted in bumping my head quite hard against the floor.

"Is everything okay?" someone called out after opening the door in a hurry.

I crawled from the side of my bed to get a glimpse of who was at the door, "I'm fine, just lying on the floor"

"You imbecile" Draco jogged up to me and helped me to my feet, "We're leaving in a couple of hours and you decide to get sick today"

"Thanks for the sympathy" I replied ironically, hitting him in the back of the head. I wobbled back to my bed and sat up against the pile of pillows.

He grunted, "You wench! After all I did for you. I walked 30 minutes in the damned cold searching for you! In addition to carrying your fat bottom all the way back!"

"If I had such a big butt, why'd you bother helping!" I argued back

"Maybe I didn't want a frozen corpse near my house"

"Well," I retorted in a smooth manner, "I'll make sure to go a bit further so you can't find me next time"

"There won't be a next time"

I snorted, "Right, I'm probably going to get cursed by Bellatrix or the eminent Dark Lord himself for disrespecting him."

He threw something he had been holding on the ground, causing a loud thump, which made me jump. "Will you stop talking like that?!"

I shuddered, "It's always going to be like this. We somehow get close to one another, something happens and we're arguing. It's like a vicious cycle. I absolutely despise arguing with you. When we were younger I didn't care because I hated you. But now...you're the only person I honestly care for and we fight all the time" an unwanted sob escaped my parted lips. But I quickly recovered with a laugh, "I can't change that I guess. Well you should be going now, I'll be fine. Thank you for carrying my heavy self here"

He gave me a curt nod and exited the room noiselessly. I gradually got to my feet to bend down and grab the object Draco had thrown on the ground with fury. The surface was sharp on the fingertip. I looked closely to realize it was a photo of him and me a year ago. We both wore a Santa Clause hat, Draco was frowning while I smiled widely, patting his shoulder roughly. The glass of the frame was shattered due to the impact with the harsh, chocolate-coloured floor. I tottered to my night table and delicately placed it, facing me. I crutched down so I was eye levelled with the portrait.

Over the years, I could defiantly say many things have changed. From appearance to beliefs, it seems like everything has altered. Its odd how staring at some year old picture could trigger such strong emotions, the one you wish would never rise up to the surface. The emotions no one can understand, not even the most intelligent wizard. They seem to be able to control your life, as much as you want to lead your own life.

I suppose one of the days, I will have to deal with the fact that...

I am deeply, madly in love with Draco Malfoy.

At long last, it was time to leave for Hogwarts. It felt like the vacation had rocketed extremely quickly. I wrapped myself with my warm, auburn wool trench coat. A matching hat covered my dirty blonde coiled hair, my hands stuffed in my pockets. Draco stood beside me wearing nothing but a thin, blue hooded-sweater.

"Merlin Robyn, its 0 degree outside (in Celsius)" he tugged on my coat in attempt to pull it off but I clutched it swiftly.

I shivered, "You weren't the one to spent 10 hours in the cold, bare foot and it a small dress"

He rolled his eyes dramatically, "It was merely 20 minutes"

"It doesn't matter, I am not making my coat off until it's at least 20 degrees outside" I stated stubbornly, straightening the sleeve he had yanked on. I watched as he shook his head disapprovingly. I eyed him, his platinum blonde hair danced as the wind blew. He passed his hand through the pale mane with a blank expression on his face until he caught me staring.

"Can I help you?"

"Ha, that's funny" I answered smugly, patting his shoulder lightly. He seized my hand in one sharp movement; I had barely seen his arm move. He heaved my sleeve up, examined my bare arm attentively. "Can I help you?" I asked, emphasizing the "I".

He pushed my arm down forcefully, completely disregarding my query. I frowned, awkwardly pulling down my sleeve once more.

"The train should be here soon, so hurry up" he had already started to walk into a steady pace, I quickly caught up.

In our compartment, I took off my coat to reveal a green and grey, hooded-shirt. For some reason, I was always cold. Our luggage was neatly placed; I had fixed them after Draco had chucked them on the shelf, who sat quietly on the opposite side.

"Is something bothering you?" I spoke while I placed myself comfortably for the long ride ahead of us.

His answer was a brief no, "Snape told me about your dreams and told me to tell you to tell me about them"

This comment made me laugh, but I hastily stopped as his expression was dead serious. "Alright"

He waited as thought he was waiting for me to continue.

"You want to know now?"

"That would be appreciated" he answered sardonically.

"Well, I've been having the same dream over the whole Christmas break" I started slowly, "It's not very clear though, but that happens a lot when it's not going to occur soon" Draco listened cautiously as the words were spilling from my mouth. I could feel my stomach forming into knots simply talking of the nightmare I had replayed so many times in my head. "All I could really see is a puddle of blood, as though I was lying there myself" I felt shivers travelling down my spine, "The floor was dark, I think it was made of marble. It was cold on my back, but the blood was warm, fresh."

Draco's whole body tensed as I spoke the few last words. I knew it made him feel uncomfortable but he would never admit it. I stopped discussing the dream after that, instead I stared out the small window that was to my left. The snow had diminished a lot since we had left Hogwarts, I could see some small patch of green here and there. The sky was covered with grey clouds; some were darker than others, leaning more towards a black colour. It made the world seem sad, a sudden spasm of pain tugged on my heart. The dark sky reminded me exactly what would be executed soon enough. I turned my head to watched Draco. He paid no attention to me, his expression unreadable, composed. I knew deep down he wanted to cry, to run away. But we both knew that was impossible, it would only lead to death or worse. It strange to think there was something worse than death, but I'm certain Voldemort would surely come across some sort of torture. Another twinge of some type of emotions shot through my body, ones I knew oh-to-well now a day. I couldn't even imagine what might happen to the boy I had somehow fallen in love with if he fail this mission that was given to him. I knew this was what Voldemort wanted, for him to fail. It would be a suitable punishment for Lucius Malfoy in his eyes.


	10. And I'm All in, Nothing Left to Hide

We didn't speak to each other for the rest of the ride to wizardry school.

When we finally arrived at school, we were greeted by the setting sun. The atmosphere was coloured with pinks and purples. It made the ancient castle look even more breath taking. I was obviously the only one who was captivated by its beauty since everyone was rushing by to enter and meet up with their missed friends. A pair of boys bumped into me with brute force, knocking me over. I regained my balance quickly and glowered at them angrily.

"Robyn, are you coming?" Draco requested keenly, both his hands were busy with luggage. I snatched my familiar brown bag and uttered along.

_I hear sobbing. But all I see is black. I hear yelling. But all I see is blank. My heart squeezes hard. I want to help. But I can't because I am lying on the floor. It's cold, yet warm and wet. There was water underneath me. I want to sleep, but my mind is telling me to stay awake. There's more yelling, getting louder. It's hurting my head, please stop yelling! I want to sit up, but my limbs are immobilized. _

_Suddenly the image becomes clear, like a blanket lifted off my eyes. I see Draco and Harry. They are arguing over something. I can see but I can't hear. Draco looks extremely mad, his stabbing fingers in my direction. Did I do something wrong? _

"_You will pay Potter" Draco's furious voice penetrates my ears; it is so ear-splitting I want to tell him to quiet down. There's no reason to fight._

_And then I see my father hovering over me, that blank expression hides his true emotions. He pulls out his wand and points it in my direction. His mouth moves, but I am too tired to listen. I want to close my eyes. _

_Just when my eyelids are shut, I feel excruciating pain travel down my body._

_I scream. I can't stop bawling. _

_Daddy, make it stop._

I woke up in a sweat, jerking into a sitting position. I was panting and my heartbeat pounced uncontrollably against my rib cage. It was dark; all I saw was the dim light that infiltrated the space under the door. I closed my eyes shut tightly in attempt to calm myself down. The images I just dreamt jumped in front of my eyes unexpectedly. I shot them open without hesitation. I slowly got off my bed, making it creak. I tip toed over to the door, opened it and staggered down the stairs. The flames of the fire created a shadow against the wall. I poked my head around the wall to see a head of blonde hair.

"Why are you still up?" my voice sounded fearful, I cleared my voice to make it seem like it was simple from the lack of sleep.

He flinched slightly at the sound of my voice. I sat next to him now.

"Couldn't sleep" he answered shortly after a moment of silence.

I stared at the dancing flames, "I had another dream. But this time it was more detailed."

He waited for me to continue.

"At first, it was dark and I wanted badly to just get up in help someone, but I wasn't sure who. Then everything for clear but I couldn't **hear** anything" I chuckled as though this was funny, "That's when I saw you and Harry Potter"

Now I had captivated his attention, his grey eyes were concentrated on my own. "You were fuming and pointing your index my way. I wanted to tell you to calm down" I closed my eyes and replayed the dream over and over in my head before speaking again, "When I hear your voice, you were telling Potter that he would pay. Finally, my father was hovering over me and he was pointing his wand to my chest. I closed my eyes shut because I felt exhausted. Then a lightning bolt of pain passed through my entire body." I examined his expression, which was composed and calm. "I started to scream. I knew I was dying"

He shifted in his seat, "Do you know where this was?"

"No, all I know is that there was water on the floor"

His face was anxious, stressed and unease. I stretch my arm so my hand could touch his cheek. I stroked it softly, "It'll be okay, remember?"

"You're going to die, tell how that is alright?" his voice was quiet, but he wanted to yell.

I pulled his face closer, our forehead were now brushing against each other. "It **is** alright"

We stayed still for a few seconds before I kissed his cheek and got to my feet.

"You should go to sleep" I told him on my way up the stairs,

but I knew he wouldn't sleep.

I could see the small amount of sunlight penetrating through the window. I hadn't even known I had fallen into a deep slumber. It had only felt like a minute ago I had been downstairs with Draco. I rub my parched eyes before slipping out from under the green covers. I examined the room to find that I was the only one left in the dorm. I could hear shattering and humming from downstairs, the faint smell of pancakes filled my nostrils. My stomach growled in response. I quickly tied up the curly mess I called my hair and walked downstairs. The common room was crowded with people. The girls were on the couches, gossiping away and the guys were at one of the tables laughing and simply joking around. I scanned the area to find Draco, but he was nowhere to be found so I shrugged it to off and grabbed a bowl of cereal. I poured vanilla soy milk in the bowl and dug in after grabbing a clean, silver spoon.

"Robyn!" I heard Pansy's too-perky-for-morning voice pierce through the shattering. She was already in her robes and her face was full of makeup, her hair was also overdone.

I waved, since my mouth was full of cereal and milk. I swallowed, "Hey Pansy"

"How was your Christmas?" her tone was cheery but her eyes told another story, I knew she hadn't been the happiest little camper when she learnt I was spending Christmas with Draco, even though she knew it was like that every Christmas. "I got so many amazing gifts, I'll show you later today if you want" she continued without letting my answer her question.

"Sure" I lied with a weak smile, "Well, I better be going, first day back at school" I stumbled through the crowd and sprinted back up the stairs before Pansy could even protest.

In my room, I grabbed my straighter and makeup.

After washing my face, fixing my hair and doing my makeup, I got dressed and checked the time. I had another 30 minutes before class. I debated with myself to decide if I would go see my father to tell him about the dream I had or wait until the absolute last minute. While I found myself in my head, I walked through the empty hallways.

'Well, he'll be pretty upset if I wait to tell him...but I really don't want to think about it..." I closed my eyes for a brief moment; maybe it would get rid of my pounding headache. Right when I opened my sapphire-like eyes, I spotted my dark-haired father. Just before I could order my legs to walk the opposite direction, he spotted me.

"Ah, Robyn" his cold voice sent shivers down my back. I greeted him with a curt nod. He took long strides in my direction and hovered over my small frame. "I wanted to speak to you, come in my office" I followed him silently; I had to quicken my normal pace to be able to keep up with him. He sat down after shutting the door behind us. It was dark in the classroom, only the sunlight illuminated the large room.

"Draco told me you had another dream, one which you could hear and see clearly."

I nodded hesitantly, my palms were sweaty and I could hear my heartbeat in my head, "I was dying" I cleared my throat, I felt like a huge lump was forming. My father's expression was blank, unchanged, unaffected by my words. My stomach tighten and I wanted to hold myself, I felt like I was about to break. No one truly cared about me; it was becoming clearer every day.

"Alright, if you have any more information, come see me or tell Draco" he voice shook me and I was more alert. I bobbed my head up and down and spun on my heels, ready to run. But before I could put my hand on the knob, my father stopped me, "Makes sure you're emotions don't influence you, Robyn"

I felt my whole body tremble and I knew I was crying now, even though I felt numb. "I know" my voice surprised me; it sounds strong, in control. If only I felt the same way. I rushed out of the classroom. The halls were full of students now, so I decided to hide as long as I could. It would not be intelligent to let the others see a "Slytherin crying and showing emotions". It felt like an eternity before I could sneak back to my room to clean up my face and put on a new one before entering class.

I was about 10 meters away from the entrance of the common room before someone grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back, "Hey, let go!" I growled, escaping the tight grip. I spun around and punched the side of the person's face, knocking the person off balance.

"Ow!"

I stood up straight and rubbed my red knuckles. I looked up, "Harry?" He was rubbing his cheek.

"That will leave a mark" he whispered under his breath.

I gave him a quick smirk, "Well, that will teach you to sneak up on me"

He glared in my directions, "What were you doing wondering around"

"What are you, the Hogwart police?" I sniggered.

His eyebrows knotted together, "No...It's just..."

"I'm a Slytherin and odd things have been happening?"

He simply nodded, dropping the hand that was rubbing his bruised cheek to his sides, "Draco has been messing also"

"I know" I looked away shyly; I had blocked thought of Draco from my head until I had spoken to my father. I had been able to suppress my earlier outburst of emotions also, but Potter was bringing them back to the surface. Surely, Draco was working on his famous mission. I quickly recomposed myself and sniggered in Harry's way, "Why aren't you in class?"

I had caught him off guard, "Um, well..."

"Whatever, like I care" I shrugged and started walking towards the staircase leading to the Slytherin common room.

"I saw you earlier" Harry's voice was louder than I wished, "You were crying"

I jerked to a halt and glower over my shoulder, "You're mistaken Potter"

"You were near Professor Snape's office" he continued unresponsively of my comment.

"Just shut up, it's none of your business" I barked, turning my body completely to face him. "Why don't you be a good little wizard and go to class"

"I know Voldemort is up to something, so it is my business"

I pulled my wand abruptly out of my pocket and stabbed it his way, walking back down the stairs, "Just leave" I clenched my jaw, attempting to keep the salty water from pouring out my eyes. "You know nothing; you're not even close to understanding"

Shock spread quickly across his face as he reached for his own wand.

Suddenly, images flashed so vividly through my mind, I could have sworn they were happening before my eyes. I fell to my knees, dropping my wand beside me. I held my head tightly. '_Kill him_' a voice hissed through my mind. I could see myself on the ground, I was surrounded by stalls. I recognized the place as the boys' washroom. I could hear shouting, it was Draco and Harry. I recognized this scene as the same one in my dreams. Abruptly, I was facing Harry again. But before my vision was clear enough for me to actually see, the sight of my dream blurred my view. I stared down at my bloody body; both Harry and Draco's faces were dumbfounded. Draco was at my head and Harry at my feet.

"Robyn! Robyn" a mix of Draco's voice and Harry's voice bounced around in my head.

"Make it stop!" I screamed at the top of my lungs,

"If you killed her...I..." Draco growled, unfazed by my begging.

"I didn't mean to...Draco!" Harry yelled as Draco charged Harry's way.

"Please, stop..." I sobbed, but they didn't hear me. I glanced back at my dying body. My father was now hovering over my body, his wand in hand. He mumbled a spell, I saw my body jerk. He was clutching Draco, who was fighting to escape.  
"Robyn!" he cried out.

"Calm down" my father snapped.

"She's dying! She's dying!"

My father didn't protest, he didn't comfort him by saying I would be fine. He simply stared down at my limp body.

I closed my eyes; I did not want to see my death, not yet.


	11. Silence Just Keeps Screaming Back at Me

I could hear a slight humming sound in the back of the room, or was that simply my imagination? Maybe I was in heaven, but wizards weren't religious, were they? My eyes wanted to open, but I was too frightened to fight my heavy lids. The surface under me was soft, something enveloped my left hand. It was warm and rough. The humming from earlier was getting louder, clearer. It was a voice, a familiar one at that.

"Robyn, please" the voice begged, hiccupping between the two words. Something warm splashed against my cheek and my heart squeezed.

"Don't be such a baby, Draco" my voice was jagged like I had spoken in days.

He pulled his hand back from mine quickly and wiped his damp, puffy red eyes. "Shut up, Snape"

I sat up slightly, pressing my back against the cold bars that formed the headboard of the small bed. I was clearly in the nursery. It was empty and quiet except for Draco who was swearing under his breath.

"How long have I been here?" I asked after clearing my raw throat.

"About two weeks" Draco answered, handing me a glass of water that had been waiting at my bed side.

I made a dismaying face, "Is that two week old?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance, "I'm not that evil"

I grabbed the glass and took a sip before I realized I was quenched. I finished the glass in an amount of seconds before placing it back to its place on the side-table.

"Do they know what happen?" I questioned, turning my eyes on Draco.

He shook his head, "The nurse doesn't, but Professor Snape thinks it's because of your dreams"

A terrible shiver travelled through my entire body when I remembered what had happened when Potter was speaking to me. I was zooming in and out between the scene of my dream and reality.

"I saw my death and this time, I'm positive that I'm going to die" I stared blankly at the wall in front of me because I couldn't bear to see the emotions on Draco's face. "Before, I thought my father was saving me, it wasn't clear because I was living it. But in this vision I suppose you can call it, I was watching it like if I was watching a film. You were watching me and you were yelling out that I was dying. My father didn't say a word, he just stared at my limp body" My voice grew weaker as a spoke, and at the end of my sentence, it was barely a whisper. "I think he killed me"

"What?!" Draco yelled, standing up quickly and knocking down the plastic chair he was sitting on, "How could he? You're his daughter and you're one of us!"

"I'm not his daughter, Draco" I faced him now; I knew that my face looked sorrowful by Draco's reaction. "I wish he would see me that way, but I'm just a tool. They knew I could see the future, that's the only reason they're using me. I don't even belong in Slytherin but somehow, they got me in"

"No, no. That's not true" Draco denied.

I laughed humourlessly, "It is" I hear him grunt and kicking the chair that had fallen. "Draco, please, don't" I whispered with my eyes shut. I wish I had never opened them.

"This can't happen to you. You haven't done anything to deserve this. Do you know how it happened? Maybe we can stop it"

"I think..." I started, remembering how Draco had been at my head and Harry at my feet, "I think I was protect you from Harry's spell"

"Then just don't protect me!"

"It's not that simple" I yelled angrily, my eyes flaring with rage.

"Yes it is, I can protect myself!" he had a crude smile on. "I don't need your help"

"If I believe you're in any kind of danger, I will protect you, even if it means my life" I argued

"You're being ridiculous Robyn. I don't need your help" he repeated, "I was chosen for a reason"

As he spoke, I swung my legs to the side of the bed and unsteadily stood up. I took one step towards him but stumble to the ground.

"Idiot, stay in the bed" he growled, pulling me back up to my feet. I laid my forehead on his shoulders and water started to stain his shirt. My shoulder trembled and sobs escaped my lips. "R-Robyn?"

"I'm so scared, I'm so scared" I wept uncontrollably on his shoulder as he held me up.

Draco's arms hesitated before wrapping around my body loosely. I could feel that he was tense, uncomfortable by the fact that it was the very first time he has ever seen me cry. As for me, the feeling was starting to feel normal. Draco's breathing echoed in my ears and it's all I could hear. My heart raced, being this close to him sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I wish I could stay here forever sounds corny, but that's how I felt. It hurt even more knowing it would be impossible. It was almost ridiculous that I could call Draco Malfoy my best friend. I suppose the unachievable is attainable in one of these thousand universes. But here, on earth, it was unthinkable. I guess you can call that being a pessimist, yet is it being realistic? When you've lived a double life, you learn to forget the possibilities and the happiness life brings. Life starts to be like an unending cycle where there is no light at the end. People can't believe when someone takes their lives away. But when you have nothing to hold on to, someone to hold on to, why hold on to life? I had a meaning, of course everything has a meaning, but what happens when I'm not needed anymore?

When the questions flooded my mind, I realized how ridiculous they sounded. I started to laugh hysterically and Draco pushed me lightly away from him so he could look at me. His face made me giggle even more, "I'm sorry" I manage to choke out between laughs.

"Are you okay?"

I look a deep breath before answering, "Yeah, sorry. The coma must have messed with my mind there"

"You're such an idiot" he muttered while combing his platinum blond hair.

I brought my hand up to his cheek, gently caressing it with my fingers before pinching him, "Don't call me an idiot, you dimwitted boy"

He slapped my hand away, irritated by my gesture. "I better get the nurse"

"Alright, Drakie-poo" I teased, sitting back on the small bed. When he left the room, I pressed my head on my palms. I remembered what my father had said about letting my emotions get the best of me and I knew I had to try hard to put them back until the affair with Dumbledore was done. Well, if I was still alive to see it.

I hear the nurse's shoes clicking on the marble floor, "Ah, Miss Snape. So glad to see you up"

I nodded while she did an overall examination. She frowned, "It's so odd, and I can't find any explanation for what happened to you. Do you remember what happened, dear?"

I looked down at my bare knees, I hadn't realized that I was changed into a gown, "No, I don't remember. All I remember was going up the stairs to the common room" I lied, I didn't want to get Harry implied and make him blab about his suspicions.

"Oh, well Mister Potter was the one to bring you here, maybe we could ask him" she told me as she grabbed the empty glass I had placed on the table next to my bed.

"No" I said too quickly. The nurse gave me a doubtful look but I hastily continued, "I mean, why would we bother Harry? I'm fine and to be honest, it doesn't stress me too much. I think it was a onetime thing"

Her eyes were filled with worried, which made my heart sink. "If you say so Miss Snape, but please come back if there is anything strange that occurs"

I gave her a small smile and nodded, thanking her before grabbing my old clothes that were neatly folded on the other side of the bed. I stood up, this time more stable. I walked to the infirmary's washroom and changed. I stared at my figure that was reflected in the small mirror in front of me. There were dark circle under my eyes, which were already red and puffy, my face was paler than usual and my blue eyes were dull. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and took in a deep breath.

"_Kill him" _

Those words suddenly burst into my mind. In my reflection, I could see the shocked look on my face. I heard that voice before but I couldn't quite figure out where. I search through my memory but the voice simply repeated the two dreadful words before I could figure it out. My heart started to race and for an instant, I thought I was going mad. But a knock on the washroom door interrupted my insanity from taking over.

"Sorry, I'll be out soon" I told whoever that knocked and got undressed.

"I brought you clean clothes, miss" the nurses voice rang.

I peered the door open a bit so I could pop my head out, "Oh, thank you" I grabbed the clothes and closed the door once more. It was my favourite pair of sweats and cosiest hooded sweater. I pulled on the pants and sweater and placed the grown securely under my arm.

I walked out to find a pair of shoes and socks. The nurse was nowhere to be found, so I folded the gown after making the bed I had been lying in for the past two weeks and placed it on the white pillow. I put on the socks and shoes and wandered out into the halls.

My stomach growled noisily and my head spun so I decided to head to the dining hall to see if there was still food. I wasn't sure what time it was, since they had taken my watch off, which I had just realized I had forgotten. I grunted but continued my way to the hall. I could smell bacon and eggs so I guessed it was still morning and that we were Saturday. I walked up to the Slytherin table that was filled with teenagers. I spotted Blaise and Pansy sitting next to each other at the end of the long, wooden table.

"Robyn!" Blaise stood up when he spotted me.

I gave him a short wave before sitting on the bench. It seemed that everyone was pouring their glance on my back.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, casually grabbing my hand.

I automatically pulled my hand away and brushed my fingers through my awfully messy hair, "I'm fine" My voice was bitterer than I wanted it to me, so I cleared my throat and answered once more, "I'm okay, thanks"

"Glad to see you up. It was getting boring with you" Pansy sent Blaise a dirty look before going back to her small plate filled with fruit. I ignored them, tuning out their voices and scanning the room to find Harry. And of course, when I did see him, he was looking directly at me. I composed my expression and simply gave him an uninterested stare.

I broke the staring competition after a couple of seconds and got up, forgetting about my growling stomach. I took long strides to the Gryffindor table. I eyed the students staring at me, "Can I talk to you?"

Harry knew I was speaking to him even if I didn't directly address him, "Why would you want to speak to Harry?" Hermione questioned, sending imaginary daggers in my direction with her eyes.

"Hurry please" I articulated slowly, paying no attention to the brown haired girl. Harry stood up and followed me out the dining hall.

There were no students lingering around, but I didn't want to take the chance to be overheard, so I continued walking until I found an empty classroom. I pulled out my wand, pointed to the knob and whispered a few words. The lock clicked and I opened the door, letting Harry in before closing it and securely locking it.

"Are you okay?" he spoke first.

"Don't act like you care" I replied, "I just want to make sure you keep your mouth shut about the whole thing"

"Why would I?" he retorted,

"Because I asked you to"

He frowned, "And why should I do you a favour exactly?"

I finally let my emotional mask disappear, "Please, just do this one thing"

His green eyes seem to hold my blue ones for eternity before he answered.


	12. Now We Have Reached the End

A/N: Hey everyone. I just want to thank everyone for reading and also for everyone who reviewed, it's greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Harry Potter, parts of the storyline are based on the movie, any characters you do not reconize are from my imagination and characters you do reconize are owned by J.K Rowling.

Enjoy the chapter.

* * *

[_This world may have failed you, it doesn't give the reason why, you could have chosen a different path in life_ - Angel (Within Temptation)]

"Fine" was his simple answer. I could feel my whole body relaxing at the sound of the word. His expression was well composed but his posture was tense. For a moment, I could feel my own expression soften. This boy has been through so much because of this person many call "Lord". I could understand his pain, his frustration. This man had taken his parents' life, he had tormented him for many years. I wanted to reach out to him, to tell him I shared the pain. Although, I knew I couldn't. This sent shiver down my spine, I felt like a horrible person.

I looked down at my feet, searching for something to distract me. "There's a lot you don't know. And I hope one of these days you will." I whispered, my voice broke halfway through.

"You've made your choice, Robyn" he reminded me, his voice sounded cruel, unforgiving.

I wanted to cry once more, "No, I didn't. I don't know what having a choice is, I don't know what freedom is. That's what you don't understand, no one does. But I'm not expecting pity from anyone, I have my reason why I stick by their sides. I'm certain you'd understand that." I let out a humorless laugh, "Caring for someone can make you do ridiculous things"

"Why care for someone who doesn't give a damn about you?"

I jerked my head back up, and poured my gazed onto him, "Can you answer that for me? Because, honestly, I don't know"

He looked taken back from my response, "I love him, Harry" I did not have to name the boy's name, Harry knew who I was speaking of. "I always have, and I think that's what's keeping me from going insane."

"I don't understand what you see in him, and I don't understand why you're doing this."

"Sometimes, things are better left misunderstood" I finalized our conversation and unlocked the door, leaving the empty classroom before Harry. He slowly followed, "Thank you" I whispered.

"Robyn," he started, "I won't see you any differently when ever the time comes"

I knew exacly what he was refering to, even if I wanted oh so dearly to forget everything that's been going on this year. I spun around with an emotionless smile spread across my lips, "Of course, and I will protect them no matter what, even if it means my life" The dream I had dreamt so many times raced through my mind. My heart seem to fall into the pit of my stomach, the brown haired boy in front of me might be the reason I will lose my life. I pushed the sudden feeling of fear into the back of my mind.

He nodded his head, the expression on his face looked almost respectful, as though he understood some of my reasons. Once more, I turned around and walked in direction of the common room.

"Robyn" I felt irritated, it felt like everyone was calling my name. I simply wanted to curl up into bed and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. My father stood in front of me, a mask of calm and collected emotions hide his face.

"Father" I replied. I attempted to keep walking and reach my destionation, which was an awful assemtion. To think my father would acknowledge me without a purpose would be like believing there could ever be eternal peace on this God forsaken planet.

"Why were you speaking with Mister Potter?"

I let out a humorless chuckle, "Are you some sort of spy now? Oh wait..."

A cold hand collided with my cheek. I was not looking at the man I called father, but at the cold marble floor that was suppose to be under my feet. The sound of his hand hitting my skin seem to echo and I was afraid students would rush to the scene. Yet, no one showed. No one to save me.

"Never speak to me that way" his voice was so smooth and cold it was frightning. "Now, answer my question"

"I was just making sure Harry didn't tell anyone about my little fall" I pushed myself off the floor and absentmindly placed my hand on the burning left side of my face.

I heard my father snort, "The reason I needed to speak to you was because of your so called visions. Do you have any more information?"

"I die" I spat out before leaving the hallway.

The spacious room we called the common room was empty, so I assumed everyone was still eating in the Great Hall. I sat down on the couch facing the fireplace that held a fade glowing red still burning a small log. I chill ran down my body even though I was covered in warm clothes. I brushed my fingertips against my bruised cheek. I pressed by long fingernails into the skin, piercing it. Warm liquid trickled down my figure as I stared blankly at the burning wood. I wave of nausea hit me and I ran towards the washroom, kicking the stall open. I fell to my knees, pulled my curly brown hair back with a hand and supported myself with the other. The small amount of food I had eaten earlier was thrown up. I practicly crawled to the sink on the side of the washroom to pull my body up. The image I faced was far worse than the one I had seen in the infirmary. My eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath. My left cheek was still red, turning a dark purple. It was smeared with crimson and little cuts.

"Damn" a shaky voice shook me out of my train of thought, and I realized I was covered in a cold sweat.

I jerked my head in the direction of the door, I quickly wiped my face with my sleeve and staggered out the door, "Draco, you look awful" I automaticly ran up in front of the frightenned young man. "What happened?" I spotted an apple in his clenched fist. His knuckles were white from the strenght of his grip. I grabbed his hand in mine and lifted it so I could unclench his fingers. They were sticky from the juice of the green fruit.

"It isn't working..." he stated vaguely.

I examined the apple that had a bite in it, "What isn't?"

He shook his head, his blond locks lifting in the hair. My eyebrowns knotted in confusion, "Draco, tell me"

"The damn cabinet!" he shouted, fury ingulfing the small sentence.

I was taken a back, I didn't quite understand why he would be upset over a cabinet, "You can't open a cabinet?"

"No!" he replied dryly and angry, jerking his hand that was still in mine, away. He brushed past me, but I managed to grip onto his sleeve.

"Please Draco, I don't want to see you like this..." I whispered, holding his blue eyes as long as possible before he looked away, down as his captured arm.

"Well, isn't that a shame"

"Don't be like this Draco. One moment you're acting like everything is fine between us and the other you act like I'm a stranger"

Once more, he escaped my grip, "Get this in your head Snape, I will only say it once, there is nothing fine about this situation and there is nothing between us. You are simply a tool, someone who is needed to accomplish a goal, nothing more." he hissed in between his teeth.

My whole body went numb and my arms were limp on my side. "Draco..." I watched him helpless climbing the stairs before finding my voice again, "That's a lie! You know it as well as I do. All the emotions were feel towards each other isn't nothing. What about in the infirmary? You care about me Draco, I know you do."

He haulted halfway upstairs and glanced over his shoulder, "I wish I had never shown such weakness."

My vision started to blur and my cheeks were soaked by tears that escaped my eyes, it spung the small wounds. "I love you Draco, please don't do this" I sobbed.

"You love me?" he spoke as though the word itself was Satan, "You don't even know what love is! No one loves a useless child like you"

"This is so I don't protect you from Harry, isn't it? I'm already in pain Draco, I don't care if I die! I'm a useless child, so it doesn't matter"

For a split second, his expression changed, if I hadn't been examining his face, I would have missed. "You're strongly mistaken Robyn. You were simply in the way anyways, this will just make my goal that much easier"

He climbed the stairs that lead to his room.


	13. And Who Will Comfort Me In The Cold

Hello my faithful readers! I'm sorry it took so long to post, I've really been concentrating on the quality of the chapters. I usually finish a chapter in a day or two, but I find everything is going too fast, so I really want to concentrate on the details. I don't have microsoft or any spell checker, so if there is major errors in my grammar, please tell me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Draco Malfoy (I simply want to kidnap him), or any other Harry Potter characters or storyline. Any parts or characters you do not reconize belong to the little voice in my read!

_**I said I'm only human**_

_**I'm human,**_

_**I'm human**_

_**I'm human**_

**Draco Malfoy.**

"Damn it!" a loud crash echoed through the empty common room. I didn't even turn around to see what Robyn had knocked over. I simply listen to her sobbing for a second before closing the door behind me once I reached the bedroom. It was somber, the curtains were closed and only a slight amount of sunlight shone through the cracks.

**Robyn Snape.**

Shattered glass surrounded my trembling body. I hung my knees tightly to my chest, the blood from my newly cut hand trickled down my leg. Numerous curls bounced and surrounded my face as I jerked my head foward, muffle a cry with my arm.

_Oh God, make it stop._

**Draco Malfoy.**

_It's for the best._

**Robyn Snape.**

_It hurts, I want to help_

**Draco Malfoy.**

_I don't need anyone's help_

**Robyn Snape.**

_I know it's hard on him_

**Draco Malfoy.**

_I don't want her to be around_

**Robyn Snape.**

_He was my only hope_

**Draco Malfoy.**

_She's the Dark Lord's tool, nothing else_

**Robyn Snape.**

_I love him_

**Draco Malfoy.**

_She loves me..._

The wind whipped my newly coloured hair in front of my eyes, blinding my vision for a moment. The now espresso coloured locks were straighten and shorter than previously. They hovered just aboved my shoulders. The strands flew freely until they brushed against my cheek. They were captured by the salty water streaking down my face. I didn't bother to wipe the tears and hair away, because I knew they would find themslelves right back where they were. I wore only a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt, exposing the cursed mark on my arm. I lightly traced the outline of it with my fingertips before digging my nails into the skin there. A quiet sob escaped my lips, followed by a few others. I bowed my head foward and dropped my arms to my side. A gust of wind surrounded me once more, it was cold but my body didn't react. No shivers.

"A tool, a useless child" I laughed at the irony. I knew what I was to them, nothing more than a dog. Yet, the words stabbed at me without a sense of stopping. Maybe it was because he said it. Maybe I had hoped, that to someone I was more than that. How foolish of me. I shut my eyes closed tightly, replaying the events of the last couple of years behind my closed lids. From the day I was adopted to what had happened three days ago with Draco.

_"From now on, you belong to me. You only obey me and no one else. Understand?"_

_"What a foolish young girl"_

_"Merely a tool to the Dark Lord"_

_"What is she good for?"_

_"That will teach you to disobey the Dark Lord!"_

_"I don't need your pathetic help"_

My laugh echoed into the empty darkness of the night, it was humorless, almost cruel. "Yes, I am indeed a useless child" I repeated. I had been put down my whole life, I had been look down upon since my childhood. It felt like the bottle of emotions I kept inside was never going to close back up again. This was it. The moment in my life where I would have to deal with all the pain and dread I had forced back into the back of my mind all these years. I pulled the strands snuck on my cheek off and placed my hair behind my ears. I looked down, the ground seemed miles away from there I stood. The tower was quiet and abandonned until I heard muffled footsteps behind me. I did not want to turn around. I did not want this stranger to see my tears. The person's breath was felt on my bare neck, their arms were wrapped around my waist. My heart did not even skip a beat, I shut my eyes and savoured the warmth of the embrasse.

"I'm sorry" the mysterious voice spoke softly into my neck. Their forehead was pressed against the back of my head.

"I can't deal with it anymore..." I trailed off, staring out into the night. My skin crawl when he gently placed his hand on my arm, turning me around so I could face him. His blue eyes held so much sadness, I wanted to cry for him. "I can't..." I whispered.

"I made a mistake"

I shook my head, "No, you didn't Draco" I slowly grabbed the hand he had placed on my arm. "I made a mistake believing I actually meant something to you. I don't want you to pity me, I don't want you to act like you care. You don't have to worry, I'll still be here to fufil my duty." I spoke every syllable clearly, "Did my father send you because he thought I'd dissapear?"

He was in disbelief, he seemed to be searching for his words. He even open his mouth a couple of times, but no sound came out. "Of course not! I don't need someone telling me what to do"

"Then why are you here?" I questioned, "You've been sending so many mix messages, I don't want to deal with it anymore. You're worse than a pregnant woman with mood swings. Anyways, I let my emotions get the best of me. And I don't know how well I'll be able to deal them. But I die soon, so it won't matter" a grin painted my face, trying to reassure the blond boy in front of me.

"Don't say that!" both his hands gripped my shoulders firmly, shaking my small figure vigourisly. "I'll protect you. You've been protecting me all this time, now it's my turn"

"Shut up!" I bursted out, pushing him away roughly, "Stop it, stop! You tell me I'm a damn useless child, a tool and now you act like you care! Stop it" I yelled, "That whole scene in the common room and now this? What in blood hell is wrong with you? Do you enjoy messing with my emotions, do you enjoy seeing me cry?!"

"No! I'm simply..." he started.

"What Draco, what's your excuse now?" I shouted, "What is another one of your reasoning?"

"I don't know" he whispered loudly, hissing between his teeth.

"We both have had a tough time this year, and I understand you're under a lot of pressure. But that doesn't not give you the right to treat me like some doll you can control and throw around. I have feelings Draco" I grabbed at the left side of my shirt, just under my collar bone, "And you can't just toy with them because you're stressed. I won't let you anymore"

He grabbed a strand of my coffee coloured hair, "Why did you change it?"

I was bewildered with his sudden change of subject. I was left speachless for a moment until I clear my voice, "I needed to change"

"I love your curly hair" he spoked delicatly as he pushed my hair behind my ear. A shiver was sent down my spine, his touch was warm and tender.

"Why are you being like this" I breathed,

He remained silent for a moment, caressing my cheek with his hand, his thumb rubbing faint circles against the skin. "I wish I could explain this affect you have on me, but I can't" He moved his hand down to the small of my back and pulled me close into a hug, "I just know I want you to stay by my side, no matter how awful it gets"

My arms stayed still against my side, "Please don't lie to me"

"Please trust me" he squeezed me tighter against his body,

I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. It was beating at a fast paced and his breathing was irreguliar, like he was on the verge of crying. I unhurriedly lifted my arms to wrap from around his slender torso. His muscle were tense, yet seem to relax at my touch, "I'll try"

"It'll be okay, remember?"

I poured my gaze into his eyes, "Yeah" I whispered. I pushed up onto my toes, attempting to reach his height. My nose lightly brushed against his, I could feel his hot breath against my parted lips. His face inched closer to mine by only a milimeter, but it seemed that the slightess movement made the biggest impact. My hand traced up to his cheek, down to his bottom lip, my index finger tracing the shape of it.

I couldn't help myself, I pinched his bottom lip and tucked on it roughtly "It better be okay, Malfoy". I playfully pushed him away and placed a pout on my mouth.

"Stop being such a dimwit, Robyn" he rubbed the bridge of his nose as though he was speaking to the most annoying little child, his face tinted a deep red.

I made an "o" with my mouth, "Excuse me, mister moody-pants"

A smirk formed on his lips, making me laugh. He looked towards the night and I slipped my hand into his.

Maybe it would will be okay.


	14. My Heart Would Stop Without You

You know what I've realized, a lot of stories don't have Crabb and Goyle, including mine. I suppose it's because I didn't see them in the movie and I totally forgot about them. Oh well, Blaise is there! This chapter consiste of a lot of flashbacks. You will see why. I've been wanting to write this chapter since I started the story. It was kind of the only reason I started the story actually. But I'm really liking it, so I will continue for a while. Also, I will probably make a sequal with the last movies! So that kinda means no one is dying. Or will they? I haven't decided! Oh, and this chapter, parts are written in the past tense (like usually) and some parts are written in the present tense, simply because I liked the way it sounded.

Well, I ramble way too much.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter's plot and characters belong to their creator. All the things you do not reconize belong to Big Foot, aka me. And no, my feet are actually really small.

_And I love you more_

_Than I did before_

_And__if today I don't see your face_

_Nothing's changed no one can take your place_

It's so odd, how an amazing moment turns so quickly into a fading memory. I've always wonder why our thoughts become blurred when we try to remind ourselves of a happy event. Yet, when it is a painful scene that we've experience what seems like an eternity ago, it plays in our minds like a film projected on a wall right in front of us. At this moment, it is a ceiling I see in front of my eyes. I am not reliving an awful memory, nor am I seeing a good one. I simply see the ceiling, a blank rectangulaire form above me. I must be lying down, I try to sit up or turn to my side, but I'm immobilised. I want to let out a grunt from between my lips due to my frustration. I want to move. I try to recall what had happened moments ago, I try to reason with myself why I am lying on the ground. I hadn't headed up to bed, that I was certain. Yet, it felt like a familiar dream. A dream I had dreamt time and time again. Deja vu, I guess you could say.

I hear humming on my left side, a kind of noise a television made when it had no signal. It was low, but it was also irratating. I attempted to move my lips to form a word, but like the rest of my body, they would not move. I swore to myself in my thoughts, and really started to concentrate on how I had gotten here.

And like a strike of lighting would, it hit me, vigourisly.

_"Robyn, it seems like we rarely see you" Blaise commented while I sat down next to him. I gave him a short smile and picked a slice of grapefruit that was in his plate, "Hey!"_

_I giggled, "I don't want a full one"_

_His eyebrows knitted together, aiming to look angry, "You owe me"_

_I patted his shoulder, "In time my good friend, in time I will built you a tree house in a grapefruit tree whereover these delicious citrus fruit grow. In the United State! Texas maybe?" I tryed a texan accent and failed miserably. This made the whole Slytherin-filled table burst out laughing. _

_"With those clumsy hands, you would probably saw your own foot off." he gasped between laughs._

_"Why in bloody hell's would my foot be doing near the saw?"_

_"Only you would manage" he pointed out and everyone around nodded in agreement._

_I crossed my arms over my chest, "Well then, you just ruined my dreams of becoming one of those magicians who saw people"_

_"You're a witch, why would you need to fake magic?" Pansy demanded in an annoyed tone._

_"A joke: __Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement" I retorted in her direction, with a cantankerous smile painted on my lips._

_She let out a humph and took off without another word, "What got Pansy's panties in a bunch" I chuckled at my own comment._

_Blaise rolled his eyes and started stuffing food from his plate down into his throat. I pressed my face in the palm of my hand, supporting my head with my elbow on the table. "You might want to slow down there, kiddo. You don't want to choke"_

_"Shut up" he said after struggling to swallow the huge amount of food he had had in his mouth. "Where's Draco?"_

_I shrugged, "I don't know. Geez, it's not like I have some sort of tracking device stuck down his pants" I shifted my eyes suspiciously._

_"Oh yeah, you're simply his part time stalker, Pansy's full time" Blaise joked along and we both laughed. When he returned to his food, I discreetly looked through the Great Hall to spot Draco. We had been on good terms since the incident in the common room and tower, but I hadn't seen much of him after. _

_I spotted Harry with Katie Bell and I had to suppress an eye roll. It irritated me how Harry was so suspicious and persistent about it. I pushed my self off from the bench and walked straight towards them, yet when I got close enough for Harry to hear me, he had already left. _

_"Katie" I called, pushing through the group of Ravenclaw girls that were standing near her._

_She gave me a nervous glance before venturing off the opposite direction. I quickened my pace to catch up with her, "Hey, Katie. I just need to ask you a question"_

_"What?" she turned around harshly, a furious expression was spread across her face._

_I frowned in confusion, "What's wrong?"_

_"Don't act like you care, you're a Slytherin" one of her friends commented._

_I shot her a glare, "Watch yourself" I turn back to Katie, completely facing her so the others wouldn't hear me when I whispered, "What did Potter want?"_

_Her eyes widened for a moment before she composed herself, "Why does it concern you?"_

_"Don't give me this crap, I help you, you know I'm not that horrible" I said, referring to the time I had brought her to the infirmary after she had been cursed by Draco._

_She shifted from one foot to another uncomfortably, "He simply wanted to know if I remembered who cursed me"_

_As she spoke, I scanned the enormous room once more, "And...?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"What was your answer?" I asked, I could deduct by her sudden stiffness, I was intimidating her. My blue eyes penetrated her own orbs fiercely, waiting patiently for her response._

_"I told him that I don't remember" she stuttered nervously, fiddling with her hands._

_I say anything to her for a moment; I simply examined her face carefully. "Do you know where he went?"_

_"I think he went to find someone" as she spoke, a light bulb went off in my head and I immediately knew who he was looking for. I could feel my expression soften as I told Katie thank you before spinning around and rushing out the Great Hall. _

_The school seemed deserted and frighteningly quiet as I ambled through the empty halls. My heart seemed to pick up in paced with every step I took. Fear seemed to engulf my thoughts and I could hardly concentrate. The only thing I could hear was my heart beating faster and faster in my ears. I couldn't even hear my own footsteps. I halted near the washroom, debating if I should go splash some water in my face to calm myself down. I closed my eyes and took in a big gulf of air. _

_'1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8' _

_I let the air escape from my lungs slowly. My heart seemed to slow down and everything was clear. It was still quiet, but I could hear from afar students talking and laughing. I passed my hand through my locks; it felt odd because I still wasn't use to the shorter length. _

_I started to take a step forward when I quickly brought it back to the floor. _

_'Sobbing?' I asked myself as I strained my ears to hear the source of the noise. It seemed to be coming from the boy's washroom that was to my left. I approached the door and the sobbing seemed to becoming clearer, confirming my suspicions. I brought my arms up in order to push the door open, but I hesitated. What could I do? It is probably a first year that has been bullied. I took a couple of second to ponder on my decision, but my body seem to react on its on and the next thing I knew, I was hiding behind a stall, peering beside it to see who was there. To my surprise, a familiar blond boy was leaning against a dirty sink. He was sobbing and staring into an even filthier mirror, his pale locks were sticking up in every direction. I could see he was gripping the side of the sink firmly; the reflection I saw looked terrifying. He grunted and sobbed once more, shifting nervously and I sore I saw tears running down his pale skin. I took a step out of my hiding spot and I knew he saw my reflection but I did not turn to face me. I could see him frown deeply, leaving wrinkles in between his eyebrows. He was about to speak, but I manage to close the gap between us and wrap my arms around him before he could even let a sound out. I stood behind him and I laid my chin on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the sent of his clothes, hair, his whole being._

_"Why are you here?" he demanded, his voice was rough and he sounded exhausted. _

_I gently spun him around so he could face me. I realized that he had splashed water on his face. It dripped down his face until a wiped it away with my hand, "What's wrong?"_

_He didn't answer me; he simply stared at me with a blank expression. I sighed, passing my fingers through his messy hair. "I hope you're okay..." I brushed my finger under his eye to catch a tear. He looked embarrassed and tried to turn his head, but I stopped him. "I hate seeing you like this" _

_My hands were on both his cheeks, I pulled him close to me so our noses were touching. All I could see were his blue orbs, all I could hear was his breathing and my own. My hands travelled down to his chest, to his arms and finally to his hands. Our fingers touched lightly, he hesitated before intertwining his fingers with mine. I tilted my head slightly and inched closer, "I love you". At that moment, his lips crashed onto mine. At first, it was hard but it slowly softened and became a gentle, passionate kiss. His hand was at the back of my head, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. He brought his hands that were still holding mine up to my face, caressing my cheek tenderly. I gripped his shirt tightly with both my hands, wrinkling it slightly. He pulled away slightly, his hands unmoved. His eyes seemed to be searching; an anxious expression was plastered on his figure. _

"_What's wrong?" I whispered, I felt as though if I spoke too loudly, I would shatter the moment we were sharing, I was afraid he would let go. _

_He traced my lips with his fingertip lightly, "I love you"_

_My heart seemed to skip more than one beat, my face felt flushed and I felt light headed. I must be dreaming, this is too perfect to be reality. _

_Abruptly, Draco grabbed my wrist and tugged on it roughly so I would be behind him. I attempted to look over his shoulder, but his slender body was too tall. _

"_I know what you did, Malfoy" Harry's voice echoed through spacious washroom, "You hexed her, didn't you?" _

"_You should mind your own business, Harry" I spat out angrily after stepping out from behind Draco. I searched for my wand discreetly and held a firm grab on it when I touched it with my fingertips. I heard Draco grunt and a spark crashed against the walls that was near Harry. Harry quickly pulled out his own wand and pointed it towards Draco and I. Before I could react, Draco roughly pushed me towards the wall so I would be farthest away from both of them. I watched in horror Harry's spell crash against the mirrors._

"_Stop it!" I yelled disparately. But they simply ran hiding in the stalls that were at the opposite end of the washroom. Once more, sparks flying, but I couldn't see who was who. Water was now spilling and gushing. 'They must have hit a water pipe' I told myself as I swiftly move towards them, my wand in hand. I glanced towards the broken mirrors, and I could faintly see Harry's reflection and I knew he was staring back of me. He knelt down to look under the stalls, but quickly got back up with Draco sent another spell. _

"_God damn it!" I cursed and ran towards Draco who had just gotten up from the floor. I pushed him behind me, even though my small body wouldn't completely hide him. _

"_What are you doing?" he asked breathlessly._

"_Protecting you" I couldn't finish my sentence, I could feel sharp pain all over my torso. I heard the spells, I heard who uttered it, and I just didn't want to believe it. When I looked down, all I could see were horrible wounds all over my body. I felt my legs failing me; I could feel the cold and wet marble under me but all I could feel was the pain all over my torso. No voice penetrated my ears, even though I was certain Draco was yelling franticly. _

I remember now, why I am laying here, staring up at the ceiling. I smile, even though my lips do not move. I had protected him, even if I'm dying, he isn't harm. I remember my dream now, this is it. The humming I was hearing was starting to become clear. Sobbing is what it resembled. But why would someone be crying? I'm fine. I protected the person I love the most, I have no more use. I am simply a tool that has fulfilled its purpose. So please don't cry because of me.

I can see black hair, but that is all I can see. The black haired person is mumbling something, but I can't hear.

"Robyn!" Draco's voice rings in my ears, it sounds so heart wrenchingly sad.

I can see his beautiful grey-blue eyes and his pale hair as he hovers over me.

"Calm down" my heart hurt so badly when I hear his voice.

"She's dying, she's dying!" Draco's eyes are filled with fear, anxiety, and sadness. Please don't cry Draco, I did this for you; I want to see your smile. But I quickly come to a realization. This is too similar to my dream. He's going to kill me; my father is going to kill me. Please don't do it daddy, I love you even though you don't.

"Don't worry, Draco" my voice is hardly loud enough for someone to hear, even if Draco is right next to me and it hurt my throat immensely, but I stubbornly continued to speak, "I'm okay with dying, because I know I protected you. I love you Draco, so much. Please be happy, for me. Please smile, for me" It take every ounce of my strength to speak and at the end of my sentence, I can barely hear myself speak.


	15. They Say That Promises Sweeten the Blow

The song that inspired this chapter is such a beautiful song and I hope you guys will go check it out. It's called My Skin by Natalie Merchant. I wanted to thank all the loyal readers and those would review, it means so much to me. If you guys have any suggestions, tell me!

PS: Reviews make me happy.

_I'm the slow dying flower  
In the frost killing hour  
Sweet turning sour and untouchable  
Do you remember the way that you touched me before  
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored  
Your face saying promised whispered like prayers_

I could hear a baby's cry. I searched the space that surrounded me, but it was simply a huge mass of bluriness. I squinted my eyes in attempt to discover the image behind the haziness. But I couldn't, all I could see were colors meshed together. I reached towards it, but my body jerked to a hault and I couldn't move anymore. The cry seemed to pierce my ears and became louder and louder until I slammed my hands over my ears because I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Oh, Robyn" someone cooed sweetly, their voice filled with love. I spun around and I was faced with a scene I had never witnessed before. Two adults, a woman and man, were standing in a room decorated in pink. It looked like a nursery, a crib was found on the far left side and a rocking chair in the middle of the room. The woman was holding something that was wrapped up in a soft green blanket. The man hovered over, stroking what ever was in her arms with a gentle finger.

"She looks like you" the man looked up from the where he was looking to smile at the woman. At the same time, I examined her better. Long, curly, light brown hair framed her face perfectly, ressembling mine before I cut and dyed it. The man had darker hair with piercing blue eyes that match mine exacly. My heart skipped a beat when I realized what the woman was holding was actually a young infant.

"Mommy, Daddy?" I stuttered quietly, the words seemed foreign on my lips. I took a step towards the young couple, cautiously examining them. Their smiling faces slowly turned to face me.

"Come here Robyn! Mommy has missed you so much!" the woman exclaimed gleefully, the baby she was holding was replaced with emptiness. She spread her arms wide open to receive me. I took another carefully step before sprinting towards them, I could feel the warm tears against my skin. As I finally reached them, the curly haired lady embrassed me tenderly. Her warmth felt right, like I belonged here. I returned the embrassed and burried my face in her shoulder. I hadn't notice that the man had placed himself behind me until I felt a sharp pain in the middle of my back. I looked down in terror and in confusion. A shiny silver object was penetrated through my back and my stomach. Only a small amount of blood stained the silvery metal of the blade. I touched it lightly with my fingers and it stung.

"Daddy?" I mumured, "Did you do this?" I asked, dreading the answer that was to follow my question. I turned myself so I could be faced with dark haired man.

He pointed a wand my way, "You've been a bad girl Robyn. A very bad girl" he chuckled, "We must punish naughty girls"

"What? No! I'm sorry Daddy, I didn't mean to!" I weeped and took a step away from him.

A wide, cruel smile painted his lips, reaching his ears, "You dissapointed me sweetheart. You left Daddy all alone. I was lonely."

"What?" I stuttered bewilderly, "What about Mommy?" I watched as his eyes shifted from my face to the ground not too far away. I anxiously followed his gazed slowly until I spotted what he was looking at. My breath caught in my throat, my hands flew to my mouth and tears blurred my vision. Curls were skattered on the ground, surrounding a pale face. My mother's face. There was a pool of blood around her petite body and a knife, similar to the one I had stick in my body, was stabbed on the left side of her breast. The beige shirt she wore was stained with the crimson liquid. "You did this?" I whispered through my hands.

"Of course I did. Who else? Of course, the knife was for show. Being the great wizard I am, I used the killing curse." he spoke proudly, which made me feel extremly nauseated.

"Why?" I shouted throwing my hands forwards to push his well built torso. But he didn't move, he didn't even flinch, he simply pointed his wand my way.

"She knew too much. She saw too much. The futur. She knew. She saw" his voice was demented and disturbing. He started to laugh, a loud and sick chuckle, waving his wand around carelessly.

Draco Malfoy's point of view.

"Mister Malfoy?" a old woman repeated for about the 6th time before I snapped out of my daze.

"What is it?" I demanted rather rudely. She wore a white outfit from head to toe, her head was covered with a mix of grey and brown hair and soft wrinkles covered her gentle features.

She gave me a short smile, "Miss Snape is awake. Would you like to see her?" Before she even finished her second sentence, I stood up from the plastic chair I had been sitting on for what seemed like an eternity and rushed towards the halls that lead to Robyn's room. I passed patients, doctors and nurses in a hurry, even bumbing into a few of them. I didn't even bother to saw sorry, not that I would in any other case, I was too concentrated to find the familiar room I had visited over and over again. I could see my destination, but before I could reach it, someone stopped me.

"For bloody sakes, get out of my way" I said angrily.

"Watch your mouth, Mister Malfoy" a monotone voice replied. I jerked my head back to catch Severus Snape's gaze. "She isn't taking any potions I'm offering her"

"Stobburn brat" I spoke loud enough for the dark haired girl in the room to hear me. "Drink the damn thing and get better already, I don't particularly enjoy sitting in a plastic chair all day long. Especially not in a damn hospital" I fixed my clothes that had been wrinkled by bumping into the DADA professor. When I didn't get any sly reply, I lifted my eyes to find a fragile looking body in the middle of a white bed. The pillows were propped up so she could lean against them and the thin white blanket was at her feet. She wore one of those gowns most Muggles wore when they were admitted to a hospital. Her eyes were staring straight at the wall facing her and her arms hugged her knees to her chest. "Don't ignore me, wench" Once again, the reply was complete silence. I hesitantly walked closer to the bed. At the same time, a gust of wind blew through the open window causing the white curtains to blow crazily, also causing Robyn's hair to whip around her face. That's when I noticed the tears staining her cheeks. I haulted near her and shifted nervously, unfamiliarlized with these types of situation. I reached towards her arm with my fingers, but before I could even touch her, she slapped my hand away.

"Go away" she sobbed loudly, her voice sounding horribly sad and broken. She had burried her face between her hands. Her face looked extremely pale and when turned to look at me, her eyes blue eyes were dull and lifeless.

Robyn's Point of View.

I could see in his expression that he was very uncomfortable, unsure how to react. "I said to leave Draco" I hissed between my teeth even if deep down, I truly wished he would stay by my side. I didn't want him to see me this way, but at the same time, I knew I needed him. Even if I ordered him to exit the room, he was immobilized.

"Drink the potion" he repeated, grabbing the vile that sat untouched on the table beside the bed. "Snape used a spell to heal your wounds, but he said we needed to make sure you also got medical care."

"Spell?" I questionned angrily, "He did not try to save me Draco, he tried to kill me!"

"Blimey, are you that blind?" he yelled, clenching his fist tighly around the purple liquid filled glass bottle. "Why would he kill you? We need you. It's useless to get rid of you anyways, it's not like you're a threat."

For a moment, I felt both relief and dread. I was relieved that I didn't have to worry about my death but at the same time, it reminded me why I was here. It reminded me of my only purpose.

"He said your body will take a while to completely heal." he explained, his voice a lot calmer than previously. "I don't understand why you're being so stobburn about it. You should put Dittany on those scars too. Also, you look like you just had a horribly bad dream. Did you dream about Snape naked or something?"

I brushed my hair with my fingers, "I saw my mother's death. He killer her, she knew too much, he killed her, killed her, killed her" I gripped my hair and sobs escaped my lips in little hiccups while my voice grew louder and louder as I repeated myself.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you do it Daddy?" I shriek furiously, tugging on my hair.

The door opened rapidely and heavy footsteps could be heard approching the bed. "What happen?" the new guest questionned.

"I don't know, she just started panicking after she said she saw her mother's death, and keeps saying 'He killed her'" Draco informed, his voice was anxious.

Suddenly, a cold liquid found itself in my mouth, forcing me to swallow the bitter sweet tasting drink. I could feel the cool sensation going down and my whole body seemed to relax. "Yuck" I grimaced. "What was that?"

"Calming Draught. I suppose you're speaking of your father" Severus guessed cooly. He placed the empty glass vile on the table near the bed and crossed his arms over his chest. His gaze poured straight into my own, making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

I shifted in the bed nervously and nodded my head slowly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It didn't seem important at the time and you were very young when it happened" he explained with a slight shrug. The monotone voice irritated me as he spoke the words.

"Important? All this time, I thought my mother abandonned me. I lived a life believing I was some trash that she simply didn't want. Tell me, Severus, how is that not important for a daughter to know her father murdered her own mother?" I spat out the words like it was venom on my lips. His body seemed to tense, if I haven't been staring intenstly towards him, I wouldn't have notice since it only lastest a second. I had never called him by his first name, even when he first adopted me, I would call him 'Mister Snape' and after I started calling him 'Father'. Draco also seemed quite surprised by the sudden change of attitude towards the black haired man.

"Well then, I suppose you know now" he commented.

"That's all you have to say?" I asked in disbelief, "To me," I unconciously touched my chest lightly, "You became a father. Even if I knew you would never care for or see me as your daughter, I loved you. And quite frankly, I want nothing to do with you now. So you can leave, Professor"

Our gazes stayed connected for what seemed like many minutes before he spoke, "You should use the Dittany, the slashes left a lot of scars." He turned on his heels and walked on the door, leaving it slightly ajar.

"Robyn…" Draco started before I lifted my hand up to him, showing that I didn't want to talk about it.

"I just want to get out of here" I told him while getting up.

He rushed to my side to support my weak body that fell limp when I finally stood up, "Git, your body is still healing."

I mocked, a smirk painted on my lip, before sitting back down. "Well, what I kind gentleman you are becoming."

"Shut up" he blushed lightly, "I just want to get out of here as soon as possible"

"If I recalled, I was a big girl who could take care of herself. I don't need you to stick around, Draco" I giggled, "The great Slytherin Prince was worried about little ol' me"

"That's not true" his cheeks turned a darked tint of red before turning his head away from my eyes.

I lifted my hand and rested in on his cheek to turn his head so he would be once again looking my way, "I'm fine Draco, I promise. You can return to Hogwarts, I'm not going to die overnight."

"You almost died and you never know with you, you could trip over a Sickle on your way to the washroom" he whispered, avoiding my eyes.

"Draco Malfoy, look at me and don't tease me about my clumsiness" I ordered sternly, when he did raise his gaze to me, I continued, "I am fine, I did not die. I protected you and if I hadn't been able to, I…don't know what I would have done. All that matters is that you are unharmed. We both are fine, okay? And I'm pretty sure they clean the floors, so there won't be any Sickle on the ground" I stroked his cheek with my thumb before bringing it back down to my lap.

"Snape would have been able to save me with his spell. You didn't need to get hurt."

I rolled my eyes, "Please Draco, I wanted to protect you. It's not like you threw me in front of you like I was some sort of shield"

"No, but you threw yourself in front of me like you were some sort of shield" he argued.

I smiled a small grin, "I am your personal shield"

He snorted, "Don't say such nonsense"

"Then what am I to you, Mister Draco Malfoy?" I spoke gently, approaching my face to his, slowly.


	16. We Never Knew What We had in Store

Hello everyone! Thanks for all those who have put my story on alert or favourite. Makes me happy. It's been a while, I know but I've been really inspired recently especially with the Snape/Robyn relationship! Please tell me if I'm really off character with certain people, especially Snape and Draco. I don't want it to be like typical "Draco randomly turns super sweet with the girl" kind of thing. But I also want to show the love between them.

Anyways, enjoy.

_I fooled everyone and now what will I become?_

_I have to start this over; I have to start this over_

_There must be something more,_

_Do we know what we're fighting for?_

_**Breathe in breathe out**_

I could feel his warm breath on my lips as he exhaled. I was now standing up, leaning against the bed to keep my balance. Being this close to him gave me butterflies. I leaned in closer and placed my lips against his shoulder, knowing he wouldn't answer the question, I spoke, "Don't ever leave me, okay?"

It took a couple of second before he replied, "Okay".

I buried my face in the nuck of his neck, "I love you".

"Why?"

I tilted my head back, his blue eyes were staring intensly to his left out the window, "Because you're you". I smiled widely, "It sounds corny, I know. But it's the truth. You are more than you seem, you don't give yourself enough credit. You are stubborn, but it simply means you're determined. You may be rude, but you also mean well in your own way. You've been through hell and back, you're such a strong person."

"That's not true" he retorted without tearing his gaze off the window.

"Oh, but it's very true and you can't ever make me think otherwise."

He finally turned his head to face me, and I closed the gap between us. My bottom lip brushed against his top lip, "No matter what." My arms snaked around his neck and I passed my fingers through his pale blonde hair. I pulled him down when I sat down. He hovered over me, supporting his weight with both hands on each side of me. He seemed to be examining my expression. I slipped my hand down to his cheek. "I'll love you no matter what."

He suddenly pressed his lips against mine gently, one of his rough hands cupping my chin. My heart beat raced at the unexpected contact. We both parted ours lips, depening the already passionate kiss. I dropped my arms to the small of his back before wrapping my arms around him, pulling him closer towards me. His body was tense, as though he was stressed.

I pulled away slightly, my nose slightly touching his own, "You got hurt because of me, how can you love someone like me?" he questioned, "I'm such a horrible person". His eyes held such a painless expression, I wished I could take all his pain away. He sobbed softly, he knelt down on the floor near me and buried his head in my lap. I placed my hands on the top of his head, strocking his hair.

We didn't speak after that. While he was laying on me, I started to think about my conversation with Snape and the dream I had just had. I supposed that the effect of the Calming Draught was coming to an end. I gazed towards the door, I felt guilty about the way I had disrespected Severus. I sighed, through all of this affair, through all this stress, I had concentrated so much on Draco and everyone else, I had never had time to ponder about my own family. Knowing that my father murdered my mother was a heavy burden to carry. I always believed that I was unwanted by the woman who gave birth to me. So in some way, knowing that my mother truly did love me gave me a sort of hope, but it didn't get rid of the horrible coldness I felt in my heart. My father was still alive, somewhere, most likely harming other people. He had said that my mother knew too much, which must mean that, she, like me, saw the future. Killing someone you once loved because of an unwanted gift was horrible. A gift which could save many lives, taken away by someone who feared it. It wasn't a talent you asked for, it was simply given to you, you couldn't control it. Maybe he would come search for me when he finds out I had inheritated the visions from my late mother. He said I had left him, but I don't even recall any family. I had lived on my own for so long before Severus and Voldemort found me. My heart raced just at the thought of all this. I leaned against Draco's head, who I believed fell asleep and closed my eyes.

**Severus Snape's Point of View.**

I stared down at the man who sat in a wooden chair in front of me. His long, dark hair was dirty and it was sticking up in every direction. A monstrous smirk was painted on his lips. His body was motionless but still he could form that awful smile. A satanic laugh erupted from his mouth and it seemed to last for many minutes. I struggled to stay still in front of this man. We were alone in a dark room and I stood not too far away from them, one flick of the wrist, one spell and he would be a lifeless body in that wooden chair. I wouldn't have to hear that sinister chuckle.

"Silence, Christopher"

This man had been locked up behind bars in Azkaban since he cursed his wife. The only presence he was blessed with was my own and Albus.

"So she finally found out about her mother and I?" he questionned, his smirk still lingering apon his lips.

"Yes" I answered in a monotoned voice, examing every inch of his expression while I masked my own expression. "She might try to find you," there was a sparkle in his eyes, "But that will not happen"

He cocked his head to the side, "Why would you be so cruel to keep a father's precious daughter away from him?"

"You brought that upon yourself, and you must remember that if you ever attempt to escape Azkaban to find her, you will be killed. I will personally see to it." I turned my back to him, the room we were situated in was so dark, you couldn't even determine its size. "Now, I must go."

"Tell Robyn how much her daddy loves her."

I eyed the man, my hand hesitating to grab my wand. "Oh dear Severus, you're anger is so obvious. Don't be so careless now!" My fist clench and I grabbed my robe to wrap it around me as I walked towards the door. "Love changes a man, doesn't it?"

**Robyn Snape's Point of View**

"Roderick Plumpton. He was a famous England Quidditch team Seeker, you know? He holds the British record for the fastest capture of the Golden Snitch during a match; three and a half seconds!" Albus Dumbledore had entered the room right after Draco had woken up and he had decided to leave to clean himself up. The old headmaster had offered a chocolat frog card, which I refused politely, the idea of food upset my stomach. He was now informing about the boy who was on the card.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about, Professor?"

He put the card down on the table next to the bed, "I've spoken to Severus." I eyed the old man from in between my lashes. I was sitting on the hospital bed, swinging my legs nervously. I had always wondered how much Dumbledore actually knew about Severus and myself and our ties with Voldemort. I watched him take out his wand and flick his wrist that held the stick towards the door. I guessed it was a type of smell that wouldn't allowed anyone out of this room to hear our conversation. This made my anxiety grow. He placed his wand back where it had originally been hiden. He sat down on one of the plastic chairs and folded his hands over his lap.

I hung my head, "Is that so, I would prefer to not speak about Professor Snape." Previous to the incident, I would have called Severus father, even in front of the headmaster, but now I couldn't even utter the word.

"He's in Azkaban" I jerked my head up, "Your father was captured a few days after he commited his sin. He was placed in Azkaban and that is where he will stay."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" I demanded, my eyebrows knitting together in frustration.

Dumbledore spoke after a stretched silence, "Severus didn't want you to know."

"I've figured that much, but I don't understand why."

"He wanted to protect you."

A humourless chuckle escaped my lips when he finished his sentence, "And why would he go out of his way to do that for me?"

"Because he loves you, more than your real father could ever manage" Dumbledore's eyes were staring straight into my own as though he was trying to prouve he was not telling me lies. "Do you think Voldemort would let you attend school?" My heart started to beat hard against my chest, my head swimming in confusion.

How did Dumbledore know about Voldemort?

Did Severus tell him?

But why would he do such a thing?

"Do you really think that he would let you be with Draco, let you live a somewhat normal life?" The old man kept interrigating and with every question my pulse seemed to quicken. "If he was to choose, you would be locked in soom room until you were needed"

"I don't understand how you know all of this…"

"Severus convince, almost begged, Voldemort to let you have some freedom because he couldn't bare to see you unhappy. He may not be able to show you but Severus sees you as his own daughter and would do anything to protect you. Therefore that is the reason he has hiden your father's past from you" His voice had been so calm the entire conversation that I couldn't help to be relaxed myself. He had completely put aside my question, but it didn't bother. I was simply trying to register that he had just said.

Suddenly, I felt all the walls that I had let down after all the events of the year, come back up.


End file.
